Press "Enter" to skip to content

10 Essential questions to ask before starting a relationship

I feel morally obligated to tell you at the very start of this article that this is not for people who want a relationship and are not in one. If you are in that situation, I have a one word guide for relationships at Carleton: don’t. Now if you are…

Bald Spot Student Handbook: How to transfer

Realize how unhappy you are: Let’s face it, Carleton sucks. If you’re dumb enough to stay here all four years, you end up working your ass off for a degree from a school no one has heard of. You also miss out on real college parties and have to inhale…

Safe harbor for bay area Students

The Bay Area is unlike any other place in America (thank you, God). Because of this, the people it spits out are a little different. Because it is such a unique part of the country, Bay Area dwellers get used to a lifestyle that most of us can’t readily acclimate…

Media and Elections: The issue of information overload

There’s so much to say about the media and politics and all that, so I’ll be vague. The role of the media in today’s civil society is to give people information. People then use that information to make good decisions about how the world should be run. The hope is…

Carleton introduces ROTC program

Carleton College has just announced that it is starting an experimental ROTC program in partnership with the Department of Defense. This was surprising to many, considering Carleton’s lack of focus on being strong, avoidance of taking orders, and disclination to organized physical pursuits. What makes the program experimental is that…

Hibernation over for squirrel professor

Watch out: Jay/Jerome Levi is set to return to campus next term. What most people don’t know, however, is that he returned to campus long ago as a squirrel. He has been back on campus for weeks now, functionally living on the 20 meal plan by eating from the dumpsters…

Geology department orders hit on DIVEST Carleton

Upon further review of the Panama Papers, it was revealed that the Carleton Geology department had contracted a hit on various members of DIVEST Carleton. The papers revealed that a few years ago, when DIVEST carleton had just started, there was a secret Geology alumni meeting on Little St. James…

In defense of wearing nothing but sweats

Trends come and go with the wind, but there is one fashion staple that will always fit well and make you look put-together: Sweats. While they obviously make your muscles look bigger and your secondary/primary sex organs look extremely appealing, there are much more benefits. The main benefit is that…