Press "Enter" to skip to content

Guide to buzzwords

I have decided to take a break from the usual cold-hearted amoral content I usually disseminate. Instead I will be helping to unpack some common phrases, so that we can create a dialogue based on shared understanding of basic concepts.  Gaslighting – I already explained this. Fragility – Vague discomfort. …

CSA presidency platform of the Monster of Goodhue

Who I am and Why I’m Running Hello folks, in case you haven’t heard of me, I thought I would introduce myself. I am the fabled Monster of Goodhue who haunts the hall. Most of us monsters have a dream of one day being involved in politics, and my role…

In their own words: CSA candidates lay out their visions

This past week, the Carletonian reached out to all of the candidates running for CSA President and CSA Vice President. Each candidate was sent an email questionnaire. Because of space limitations, we are unable to publish each candidate’s answer to each question. We have selected answers from each candidate that…

Valentine’s Day crossword

Happy Valentine’s Day! Here’s a fun and romantic crossword to get you in the lovin’ mood for the Big Day. Love, The Bald Spot Eds Across 1. Le epic Communism >___< 3. French poststructuralist thinker known for his writings on biopolitics, prisons and sexuality 4. Heir of Brentano’s phenomenological method,…

St. Olaf: world’s first conservative arts college

After hosting resistance social media influencer Eric Trump on their campus last term, St. Olaf has been inspired to be the first educational institution to rebrand itself as a “conservative arts college.” This is in response to the liberals’ assault on free thought and speech through their hegemony over small…

The magic of voting

A lot of people in this country don’t fully appreciate how great and cool our democracy is. Many people feel like voting does nothing because they’ve voted a few times and nothing about their material or financial condition has changed. That is wrong because the odds that the candidates will…

Trump wins Rice County by 69 votes

Incumbent President and Deutsche Bank all-time favorite Donald John Trump won the majority of ballots cast in Rice County for the 2020 general presidential election. DJT beat democratic challenger Joseph Robinette Biden by 69 votes. Both candidates received thousands of votes in Rice County, and the chances of the difference…

Michel Gluecault

The Carletonian was granted exclusive access from the Foucault Estate to publish this 1982 transcript of Michel Foucault, on tape, discovering what glue is. The monologue is roughly translated below. Happy Glue Spot Day! Glue? Hah, ehh I hes never heard of such a thing… hon hon… One might have…

Glue: Trivia n’ Jokes

Trivia: What was the first bottle of glue? ???? [LAUGHING_EMOJI] Who invented glue? ???? [SUGGESTIVE_EMOJI] What was the first glue company? ???? [SUGGESTIVE_DOG_EMOJI] After whom is glue named? ???? [BOO_HAHA_EMOJI] Why choose glue over, say, tape? ???? [NERD_EMOJI] Why must you never utter a Bad Thing about glue out loud…