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Carleton introduces ROTC program

Carleton College has just announced that it is starting an experimental ROTC program in partnership with the Department of Defense. This was surprising to many, considering Carleton’s lack of focus on being strong, avoidance of taking orders, and disclination to organized physical pursuits. What makes the program experimental is that…

Hibernation over for squirrel professor

Watch out: Jay/Jerome Levi is set to return to campus next term. What most people don’t know, however, is that he returned to campus long ago as a squirrel. He has been back on campus for weeks now, functionally living on the 20 meal plan by eating from the dumpsters…

Geology department orders hit on DIVEST Carleton

Upon further review of the Panama Papers, it was revealed that the Carleton Geology department had contracted a hit on various members of DIVEST Carleton. The papers revealed that a few years ago, when DIVEST carleton had just started, there was a secret Geology alumni meeting on Little St. James…

In defense of wearing nothing but sweats

Trends come and go with the wind, but there is one fashion staple that will always fit well and make you look put-together: Sweats. While they obviously make your muscles look bigger and your secondary/primary sex organs look extremely appealing, there are much more benefits. The main benefit is that…

Security adds new employment positions, hires six student dispatchers

This fall, Security Services hired six student dispatchers. The student position is new to the office, which had previously consisted exclusively of professional staff. “We are excited about this opportunity for students to work with security as dispatchers,” said John Bermel, Director of Security and Emergency Management. “This is important…

The Bald Spot has new editors!

Hey folks, my name is Naomi ’22 (not NYE-omi). I’m from a smallish town in Minnesota that is as white as it sounds. My majors are political science and religion, which I chose just to be spicy. I am the Bald of Bald Spot. Hopefully, what we write at the…

A hire in the SOAN department

The Sociology/Anthropology department has announced their final decision for a new hire. After meeting with many candidates, watching them teach demo classes and considering how they would fit into the department, they have decided on Jerome M. Levi, a post-doc from Harvard. The SOAN department has been understaffed recently due…