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Departments adapt to online learning

Carleton is turning into University of Phoenix (except without the whole subsidy abuse scheme), and for some classes that won’t be too bad. For others, though it’s gonna be a bit of a challenge to move the classroom from Northfield, Minn. to the cyberspace. Here are how some departments are…

Now is not the time for satire

Earlier this morning, the FCC issued an official statement in regards to the recent outbreak: “I don’t think satire is the way to go rn.” Many experts have criticized this decision as far too late considering recent news. These experts claim that things have not been good for a long…

Censorship is an issue

I feel obligated to tell all of the readers that the bald spot sucks. Now I realized this when I realized that everything is relative. Relative to SNL, we’re pretty funny. Relative to Jeff Dunham, we’re pretty funny. Relative to the cringey comedy groups on campus, we’re very funny. There…

Carleton Premium™

Carleton has recently announced Carleton premiumTM, a new kind of College experience. Here are some of the elements of Carleton Premium: ◉ Edible Dining hall food ◉ Access to SHAC counselors more than once a term ◉ Sex ◉ The permission to swear on KRLX ◉ SWA dogs ◉ No…

10 Essential questions to ask before starting a relationship

I feel morally obligated to tell you at the very start of this article that this is not for people who want a relationship and are not in one. If you are in that situation, I have a one word guide for relationships at Carleton: don’t. Now if you are…

Bald Spot Student Handbook: How to transfer

Realize how unhappy you are: Let’s face it, Carleton sucks. If you’re dumb enough to stay here all four years, you end up working your ass off for a degree from a school no one has heard of. You also miss out on real college parties and have to inhale…

Safe harbor for bay area Students

The Bay Area is unlike any other place in America (thank you, God). Because of this, the people it spits out are a little different. Because it is such a unique part of the country, Bay Area dwellers get used to a lifestyle that most of us can’t readily acclimate…

Media and Elections: The issue of information overload

There’s so much to say about the media and politics and all that, so I’ll be vague. The role of the media in today’s civil society is to give people information. People then use that information to make good decisions about how the world should be run. The hope is…

Carleton introduces ROTC program

Carleton College has just announced that it is starting an experimental ROTC program in partnership with the Department of Defense. This was surprising to many, considering Carleton’s lack of focus on being strong, avoidance of taking orders, and disclination to organized physical pursuits. What makes the program experimental is that…

Hibernation over for squirrel professor

Watch out: Jay/Jerome Levi is set to return to campus next term. What most people don’t know, however, is that he returned to campus long ago as a squirrel. He has been back on campus for weeks now, functionally living on the 20 meal plan by eating from the dumpsters…