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The Carletonian

The Carletonian

The Carletonian

Michel Gluecault

The Carletonian was granted exclusive access from the Foucault Estate to publish this 1982 transcript of Michel Foucault, on tape, discovering what glue is. The monologue is roughly translated below. Happy Glue Spot Day!

Glue? Hah, ehh I hes never heard of such a thing… hon hon… One might have expected zat in all my years as a prominent French post-structuralist philosopher I might have a level of eh, how you say, familiarity with ze concept… velly weird… 

Mon dieu! What is zis… what dose it say on le labelle… la Glue de Crazy?! Hoch, that is *le spits* despicabel… I cannot believe you would ehhh hand me and command me to smell such a thing… if you read my le 1961 opus de magnum you would know zat zis was a common method in le Clinics to assert la Poweur… 

Wait… what is zis… you are le telling me… you put zis on a thing… and you put ze thing togetheur with anotheur thing… and it ehhhh STICKS?! Marveleux… fascinating… call eet a Gluecault moment… bazoinks… 

I truly cannot belieuve zat I have gone through my whole life wizout knowing what zis ees… truly incroyable… one might say zat ze history of all my hitherto life has been ze history of glue strugglez… le yes you can write zat one down… Gaston, pleez write that one in my next booke… oui oui… hon hon… this will be a heet!

Heh, yeas… here is how I l’envision ze start of ze libre… “The meaning of this Glue must be clear to all; each element of its ritual must speak, repeat the Glue, recall the Glue, show the need for Glue and justify its degree. Glue, Glue, Glue, and more Glue must be distributed, so that everyone may learn their Glue” (Discipline and Glue, p. 111). Velly nice… oui oui! That one will do le well, I am sure of eet…

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