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The Bald Spot

Professors to offer Spring term classes via TikTok

As was announced in an all-campus email this week, Carleton faculty have decided to offer online course material exclusively via popular video app TikTok. Previously, ITS had been recommending that faculty use established, professional platforms such as Zoom and Google Meet, but Carleton faculty are not ones to be held…

Departments adapt to online learning

Carleton is turning into University of Phoenix (except without the whole subsidy abuse scheme), and for some classes that won’t be too bad. For others, though it’s gonna be a bit of a challenge to move the classroom from Northfield, Minn. to the cyberspace. Here are how some departments are…

Now is not the time for satire

Earlier this morning, the FCC issued an official statement in regards to the recent outbreak: “I don’t think satire is the way to go rn.” Many experts have criticized this decision as far too late considering recent news. These experts claim that things have not been good for a long…

The Kestrel Falcon

The American Kestrel is North America’s smallest falcon. However, what it lacks in size it makes up for in vivid plumage of orange and blue, packing more charisma-per-ounce than most others of its size in the sky. Observant visitors to the Arb during migration seasons may glimpse a kestrel hovering…

A Love Poem for the Sayles Folks

Drunk, afraid, cold— I hold steady for you, And warm tendies you look to provide; I am raptured by the sight Of my number, 420, 666 Flashing on the too tall screen, Julia and Aleka and Dorian working To provide what I need most, What my heart desires, The satisfaction…

Killing the Quirk

In Carleton’s last-ditch attempt to prepare graduating seniors for life after college, Elizabeth Allen-Dodson is launching a new six-step program for Spring Term seniors: The Bullying Initiative. Allen-Dodson believes that her program will create “resilient and well-adjusted young adults, who will be very hireable after participating in her program.” The…

Censorship is an issue

I feel obligated to tell all of the readers that the bald spot sucks. Now I realized this when I realized that everything is relative. Relative to SNL, we’re pretty funny. Relative to Jeff Dunham, we’re pretty funny. Relative to the cringey comedy groups on campus, we’re very funny. There…

OHP uses fitness bracelets to track Carls: data is damning

In our modern age of technology, data is a hot commodity. Carleton College is particularly well known for its infatuation with hard numbers. Our bathrooms are adorned with SHAC (Shaky Hands and Coffee) posters boasting students’ ability to not poison themselves with alcohol. Statistics is a requirement for practically every…

Wide open spaces: Buckthorn removal near Kettle Hole Marsh

Along the northeastern edge of Kettle Hole Marsh sits half of a forest. An overstory of red oaks andboxelders towers above a messy tangle of stumps and bare ground. The area feels gutted, the space where an understory should be strangely empty. A little more to the east, right where…

College president responds to recent application pool

Dear Carleton Community, This year, Carleton saw exactly zero applicants. Rumor among highschool seniors is that Carleton is no longer “fun” or “a place to party,” and that “a guy really just can’t find any weed no matter how much power he has over the school.” Over the last several…