Snow on the ground in the past week sends a clear and cold signal to the residents of Northfield: winter is fast approaching. Boots are retrieved from closet corners, shovels extricated from the garage, thin socks switched out for the woolen thick as we feel the sting of air temperature…
The Bald Spot
Carleton College has just announced that it is starting an experimental ROTC program in partnership with the Department of Defense. This was surprising to many, considering Carleton’s lack of focus on being strong, avoidance of taking orders, and disclination to organized physical pursuits. What makes the program experimental is that…
Numerous treatments have been proposed in response to the ongoing epidemic of EAT, or Excessive Awareness of Triviality, a condition associated with unwanted recognition of life’s meaninglessness and inability to function without the prospect of reward. The most effective treatment is not new but has been used by some subsets…
As finals approach, Carleton students are working tirelessly to prepare for exams and finish their lengthy essays. Many on campus are running on little to no sleep, relying on obscene quantities of coffee to keep themselves awake. Despite what students think, however, they cannot burn the candle on both ends…
It is mid-autumn in the arboretum: many trees are bare, a few hearty bird species remain, and white-tailed deer mating season is in full swing. Referred to as the “rut,” white-tailed deer mating season occurs from October to December. Because whitetails are short-day breeders, behavioral changes are trigged by reduced…
Watch out: Jay/Jerome Levi is set to return to campus next term. What most people don’t know, however, is that he returned to campus long ago as a squirrel. He has been back on campus for weeks now, functionally living on the 20 meal plan by eating from the dumpsters…
This year, the Scholarly Antics Office (SAO) announced that in response to disappointing statistics on the number of couples Date Knight produces, the event would be slightly modified this year. Specifically: it has been designed to place students in as much danger as possible, such that adrenaline and sheer terror…
Nothing sets the mood like a scented candle emitting its rich and sensual smell, casting everything in a soft light. While students are not allowed to have “open flames” in dorms, they can still lift a candle close to your nose and sniff really hard. It is scientifically proven that…
Did you know that the Arb is home to evidence of early microbial life? A large ancient stromatolite is visible along Spring Creek in the Upper Arb. Stromatolites are microbial reefs created by the activity of cyanobacteria. Microbial mats, or complex communities of microbes (primarily bacteria and archaea) organized into…
Since my humble college start Thou hast twistèd love knots on my heart Those same whorls of dough of which thou art form’d, Of which my soul is too adorned, Puff like clouds from Bon App kilns And add saltèd hypertension to student ills Topped with hard salt and brown’d…