Over the last week, countless classes have been interrupted, innocent diners snuck up on and dorms camped-out in the interest of the spoon game. The fall term spoon assassins game is becoming a true Carleton tradition, much to the chagrin of professors everywhere. Earlier this week, Carletonassassins posted that 50% of players had already been eliminated – that’s 159 people. But how has the other approximate third survived this long? The Carletonian asked around, and is here to provide insights and strategies. However, all these strategies will be anonymized in order to protect the players’ secrecy.

One basic strategy that many ‘spooners’ (as they are often called) employ is the simple aversion of common spaces. It’s easier to get a Sayles couch now than ever. However, one student we spoke to is taking it a step further; “I haven’t left my house in four days,” they shared. “I got my first target early on, and so I’ve literally just stayed in this building. My friends visit me, and I try to get them to bring me snacks. I’ve also been having tiny bites of my housemates’ leftovers, but I get a little bit of each leftover so they don’t notice. Getting to class has been a real issue of course, but I’ve been doing my readings and assignments and pretending to be sick. It’s not much of a pretense anyway; I haven’t seen the sun in days.”

Often, assassins will wait outside of their target’s class before or after it occurs. One student, who doesn’t have the ability to avoid common spaces as much, told us how they protect themself from being caught in class. “I show up to all my classes seven minutes late in case my assassin is waiting. It’s enough time that I think they’d assume I’m sick or not coming. Obviously, I don’t know if they’re actually waiting, since I’m not there. I do feel bad for being disruptive, so I stay back after to apologize to my professors — which is super helpful if I see people loitering outside the room. It could be anyone, you know.” After conducting further interviews, we discovered that this person’s assassin actually has two classes with them, but is simply biding their time and enjoying the show.

For those who are serious about that $318 prize, the level of security gained from these strategies is simply not enough. One student, who was brutally eliminated on the steps of their dorm building last year, shared a more extreme strategy; “tunnels.” And this student was not discussing the old closed down tunnels! They elaborated, “I’ve been digging tunnels since week one. I have one from my dorm basement to Burton, and from there to Leighton. I took all of my classes in Leighton this term in case they did spoon assassins. When I’m in Burton or Leighton, I wear a wig and a mask. Sometimes, when I’m worried about my walk or my clothes being recognised, I go all out and wear a giant plastic apple costume.”