< looked at the devil, and said, “you know, that guy needs an advocate.”
2. Overheard in Evans: “I love corgis! They’re like nature’s mistake. Except we did it.”
3. On dating: “My body says yes, but my schedule says no.”
4. “Marry quesadillas, f*** mozz sticks, kill chicken strips.”
5. Reunion: 80-year-old man (flirtatiously): Remember me?
80-year-old woman (also flirtatiously): Oh, I sure do.
6. Disappointed Freshman: “Can I get my meal swipe back?”
7. Overheard in the Carleton Bubble: “You think Econo is open on midterm break?”
8. Boy Prospie: What kind of music do you like?
Girl Prospie: Well, recently I’ve been into alternative broadway…
9. “If we show up at Carleton University next term, do you think they’ll notice the difference?”
10. Person 1: Hey how are you today!
Person 2: No.