It’s very rare that the Rice County criminal court hears insanity pleas from College students, but Jen Ericsen ’25 isn’t afraid of pushing boundaries and breaking constricting social norms. “People don’t get it,” Ericsen said. “I needed a creative outlet after dealing with my comps for hours every week.” The creative outlet that Ericsen is discussing: burning Goodhue to a crisp.
Comps, Carleton’s preeminent source of students committing felonies, has been used as an excuse for numerous crimes, including – though not limited to – grand theft vending machine, Sayles wire fraud and cold-blooded killing – of the mood at any party. However, comps has never yet been used in conjunction with an insanity plea.
Ericsen – who asked to keep their major concealed, but we’ll tell you that it rhymes with memistry – thinks that she was fully justified in burning down Goodhue. “I don’t see what the problem is,” said Ericsen. “We do it to bunsen burners all the time, why is Goodhue somehow different? Why should the administration be the only people making decisions about and destroying housing that is just too old?”
Though Admin has declined to comment on the case, several members of Residential Life could be seen dancing around the burning ashes of Goodhue in a joyous fashion, singing songs in a celebratory tone.
Judge Ann O’Nymous, the judge overseeing the case, has commented that she’s likely to buy the insanity argument. “You’re compsing, it’s a real psychological toll,“ the judge said, wearing a sweater reading ‘BadHue.’ “I do want to prevent this from becoming a more common occurrence, though, and I’m considering asking the College to mandate exams instead of Comps in my verdict.”
Ericsen likened setting the building ablaze to practices that she participated in during her comps. “In my major, we make things hot,” said Ericsen. “Beakers, we can make it hot. To go, we can make it hot. Buildings that are too far away from campus to be considered civilization, we can make it hot. I know I wasn’t in my right mind, but I don’t know that I regret it.”
Ericsen, looking into the distance, a reflection of a single bold flame in each eye, recounted the experience to the Carletonian. “I was walking around campus, and I was thinking about chemical reactions – I had just had a lab, and I suppose I may have forgotten to return some supplies. Next thing I knew, I was outside Goodhue with a warm sensation right in front of me.” Ericsen’s lawyer, Ms. Ann T. Hue, cut her off before she could say more.
Many Carls, former Goodhue residents in particular, are on Ericsen’s side. The Arb goblin, a mythical creature who inhabits the Cowling Arboretum, understands that comps does crazy things to people. They made a statement to the Carletonian in their own language, and our own unemployed-to-be linguistics majors translated it, “People need to do things to decompress. I personally choose to dress up as a masked vigilante who steals socks from the Burton laundry room, but to each their own.
It’s unclear how the case will play out for Ericsen, but many legal scholars are optimistic. A YikYak poll revealed 98% of students polled said she was “totes justified.” A whopping 85% of students individually responded to the poll with the statement “If Comps takes your humanity, you can plead insanity.
