Over the last few months, many students across Carleton’s campus have been upset about the decision to get rid of student-taught P.E. classes, due to the limitations it puts on options and scheduling. Despite this upset, Carleton College has decided to double down on its efforts, and has spent the last several weeks trying to hire someone to teach juggling, the last student-taught P.E. class. Their hunt finally ended last week, with the hiring of a full-time jester who allegedly juggles quite skillfully. The directory will simply list this person as “Jester”, although they also answer to fool and clown – as they explained to us, “it has never been in the tradition of Court Jesters to be known by a personal name, except by the King we serve. In this case, only my benefactor Allison Byerly knows anything of the life I had and the Courts I served before this one.”
It’s not entirely clear why this would be a full-time position. Juggling classes will still only be taught once a term, although the fool is mandating a uniform of traditional motley; the commonly depicted multi-coloured grid leotards. There will also be hats, although the fool claims that the bells on the ends of the hat have to be earned (there is no historical account of this, and it is possibly an excuse for Carleton budgeting). Outside of class hours, the fool will maintain a seat (office) to the right hand (across the hall) from the King (the President of the College). She may call on them at any point to amuse her or potentially advise her on serious matters of the Kingdom (the College).
The fool spoke to us at length about what qualified them to teach juggling, saying, “I am honored to be a jester, to follow in the footsteps of my father before me and his father before him. I have had no doubts about my desire to join this honorable profession since my childhood, and am simply lucky to have had the support and advice of my family.” When asked if they thought of themself as a sort of ‘nepo baby’, they said no, claiming “while it may have been a more fraught journey, filled with challenges, there is no doubt in my mind that had I been of different parentage, I would still have found my way to my noble occupation, which I have always suspected some higher power intended me for.”
When asked about what brought them to our illustrious Kingdom, the fool said “In recent years, I have frequented many courts that are fraught with tumult and whose Kingdoms frequently change hands. There has also been strife and discord between the people of these Kingdoms and their rulers, and when those rulers would not heed my advice, my presence felt pointless, and so I came west.” The fool was then asked if they were referring to any particular colleges or universities on the east of the continent, but they denied any knowledge of what a college was, saying “we only had a few universities in my previous Kingdom, and each of these was much more meagrely populated than this nation of Carleton; I have no idea to what you are referring. I myself was alluding to my former employers Ferdinand and Isabella, who I am proud to keep among my acquaintance.” When asked to state the year and day for the record, the fool seemed not to hear, and hastily ended the interview.