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u think Econo is open for midterm break?”

“Do first years have feelings?”

“Wait, there was a tornado at Carleton? I hope the crane is ok.”

“Is 6a at 6 AM?”

“Spring term is the time to burn bridges.”

“We just pulled out of the Iran deal. I’m going to need higher proof whiskey.”

“You look different in your OneCard. I look different too, mostly because I was full of hope then.”

“I just want to scrunch everything.”

“Everybody should take a little bit of economics, just so you know what we’re up against.”

“I thought that was a freshman but turns out it’s just a kid. How are they so small?”

“All alcohol is just weird water.”

“New Jersey is the Musser of U.S. states.”

“I hate when people ask me if I’m going to be president one day just because I’m a poli sci major. That’s like asking a religion major if they’re going to be a Rabbi.”

“I’m trying to get into this program which is a feeder to get into an internship which is a feeder to get invited to an interview which is a feeder to get another interview.”

“God, I had such a bagpipes phase.”

“Socks are like kidneys. You only need one.”

“I could have used a footnote to explain why God doesn’t exist.”

“I just turned hope into nope.”

“Rome wasn’t built in a day, neither will our Comps.”