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The Carletonian

The Carletonian

The Carletonian

Stuff Tour Guides Say

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I think that most students have had this same experience: you see a guided tour and overhear what the guides are saying. Most frequently this has occurred to me on fourth libe, or somewhere near the chapel when the weather isn’t at freezing temperature. And a lot of the time, what I hear is completely and totally embellished. So I’ve decided to compile a little list of what I’ve heard over the past several months and from my own “prospie” experience of what tour guides tell prospies on their tours.

1. “You probably won’t have to do homework on Saturdays except for finals week.” Really? Because I’ve never had a Saturday where I don’t do work. I heard this one in the libe in the first several weeks of fall term. I understand the intention though, to assure those high school seniors that college isn’t really all that much more work than high school, but oh it is. And unless you want to pull an all-nighter on Sunday, you probably need to hit the libe on Saturday too.

2. “Yeah, the food is always this good.” No, the food is never as good as it is on prospie weekends. Prospie weekends are the times when the special sugar cookies come out with sprinkles and frosting and other toppings to make all of the visiting students feel special. I’d actually prefer more prospie weekends just so that we get more of the food.

3. “I wouldn’t worry about it. You’ll get used to the weather.” I overheard a worried parent asking a tour guide about how her son was going to fare the Minnesota winters when he was from California. I don’t really think anyone gets used to Minnesota winters, even Minnesotans.

4. “All of our dorms are pretty nice! I mean just look at this one.” Okay, I might be embellishing this a bit myself, but I distinctly remember visiting Carleton where they specifically show you and your family Cassat and pinpoint it as one of the “freshman” dorms. My mom was so excited to be thinking that I would be living in a pseudo-hotel.

5. “You’ll get arrested tonight if you drink.” This was also from my propsie weekend. This one didn’t actually come from my host or a guide, but the other prospies themselves. They were convinced that they heard last year about someone being transported and subsequently losing their acceptance. But let’s be honest, that still didn’t really stop anyone.

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