This week, dozens of Myers inhabitants reported experiencing a pungent scent emanating from the west side of the third floor. Students described the scent as reminiscent of “the mayo-based sandwich you left in your dorm fridge for seven to ten business days” (Parker Collins ’28) and “actually so … literally so gross” (Francesca Counts ’28). 

Visitors to the floor reported being confronted with an odor so remarkably disgusting that they believed they had stepped through a hazy green wall of air while entering the floor. Last week, an ambulance was called to third Myers to aid a first-year who reportedly passed out due to the crushing scent. 

Many Myers residents have begun wearing gas masks in the hallway and common spaces due to widespread fears that the scent may be associated with a massive hazardous sewage spill. The scent has become so deeply entrenched in life in Myers that residents have begun speculating that the scent is simply another piece of the rich tapestry of smells associated with the building itself. 

This week, however, the Carletonian discovered that the scent is not merely a product of the Myers building, but is due to the opening of a small fishmonger next to the elevator on the third floor. The station displays a variety of local lake fish, some caught in the Lyman Lakes and in Cannon River, and is run by employees of Bon Apetit. 

Part of the school’s new initiative to advance civic engagement with the town of Northfield, the college welcomes Northfield residents and Carleton students alike to purchase their fishy needs on third Myers. Bon Apetit has even begun using the third Myers fish in dinner entrees, which explains the “overwhelming fishy scent” reported last week throughout Rice Country from as far as downtown Faribault. These fish can be cooked, eaten as sushi or kept in tanks all at the buyers’ own risk. Dining dollars are accepted, as well as chipped-off pieces of the wall paint. 

Public outcry is widespread and students reportedly “hate that new fish place with the fire of a thousand suns” (Nivanthi Wijetunga ’28). Residents report that the station absolutely reeks due to the nature of its goods and have launched protests in opposition to the new store. Protests were led outside the building due to the horrendous stench, as students would rather stand in subzero, feels like -32 degree temperatures than smell third Myers fish.