Frankly, I love Halloween. I loved it as a kid when I dressed up as Superman and I still love it now as a college student. What I enjoy most is how, on Halloween, people can be more authentic than they are in everyday life.

Costumes allow people to drop the facade they wear and express themselves in ways that feel true to them. For some, like in “Mean Girls,” it’s a chance to dress provocatively without judgment. For others, it’s an opportunity to be quirky and playful in a way they might not feel comfortable being otherwise.

Halloween brings out a unique confidence — a glimpse of people as they truly want to be. This confidence is something we should carry with us year-round, yet after Halloween, we trade our Superman costumes in for Clark Kent.

Why is confidence important? Because being confident means being proud of who you are. Confidence is a feeling of certainty, and when you’re confident, you stand by your values, your actions, and your friendships — all things that contribute to a healthy life.

Being comfortable in your own skin is attractive; if you don’t like yourself, why should anyone else? Confidence also promotes calm and healthy relationships. When you’re confident, you’re okay if someone doesn’t text you back and you’re strong enough to leave when someone treats you poorly.

Confidence serves as a safety net for your emotions, helping you brush off minor worries — like the nerves from a first text or wondering if someone likes you. It’s also a tool to gauge if the person you’re seeing is right for you and worthy of your time. 

You don’t just flip a switch and have confidence. Because it’s hard! Just when you think you’re making progress, you might see someone on Instagram who seems to have it all together — looking better, doing better — and suddenly, you’re back to feeling inadequate.

But true confidence isn’t about comparing yourself to others, or relying on superficial markers like the “perfect” body or high-end clothes. I’m not saying you shouldn’t hit the gym or buy that sweater you’ve been eyeing for months. Those things can provide a nice boost of happiness and even a sense of accomplishment. But relying on them to feel confident misses the core of the issue. If that sweater disappeared, or if you missed the gym for a few days, you’d likely lose that feeling. And, like many of us, you might then look for the next external thing to fill the gap. So enjoy the feeling, but don’t mistake it for confidence.

The key lies in understanding yourself. This understanding doesn’t rely on external cues but rather on an internal awareness of your value to others: What brings you happiness? What do you truly want? What’s your unique magic?

We each have something special within us – maybe it’s lighting others up with positivity or a quirky knowledge of Gracie Abrams (yes, I might be guilty of this one). Joking aside, reflect on what makes you “you,” because that’s amazing. It’s not about changing who you are but about maximizing what’s already within you.

Moreover, it’s about accepting that not everyone will love you for who you are, and that’s okay. We aren’t meant to please everyone. What truly matters is being true to yourself and having people around you who value that authenticity. The opinions of strangers shouldn’t matter; if you wouldn’t seek their advice on personal issues, their opinions about your life likely don’t deserve your concern. Let them go. 

In the same vein, we often compare ourselves to others, focusing on what we lack instead of appreciating all we’ve achieved. Confidence grows by looking back rather than forward. We all feel fear, facing things like rejection and the unknown, yet we’ve overcome similar challenges before. 

That was the old you,  facing challenges with fewer tools and less knowledge than you have now. Yet, you got through it, and you’re stronger for it today.

I’ve been turned down at bars and coffee shops more times than I can count. If I’d let those rejections hold me back, I’d never have tried again — but I did, and sometimes it led to a different outcome: a yes. Remember all the times you’ve faced fear and succeeded despite it. Some days you may feel scared or helpless, and that’s okay. Real confidence comes not only from knowing you can get through it but also from remembering all the times you already have.

And if that’s not enough, think about the good things in your life — the “immovables.” These are the constants that won’t change, like close friends, family, routines, goals or personal values. Let these be your rocks, grounding you when confidence wavers. They offer a stable base — a reminder that there’s stability in your life — which can be deeply reassuring. 

With a foundation and a strong sense of self, you’re able to take more risks. Going up to someone or asking them out becomes a lot less intimidating when you realize that regardless of their answer, nothing significant in your life will actually change. Knowing that no outcome can shake who you truly are frees you. You can be Superman, never needing to hide behind Clark Kent’s glasses. Confidence is knowing that being yourself is enough, and saying “screw it” to anyone who doesn’t appreciate that.