Surprising many, rocks and minerals became more than just a topic of discussion at the most recent Geology Department lunch. Rocks — or the more proper and specific term “minerals” — were consumed by many of the “rock lickers” of Carleton.
Edible crystals were being made all over the world in the spring of 2023 thanks to TikTok and when the Geology Department finally made it out of the Cowling Arboretum for a good amount of time to get enough of a signal to check their phones, they saw the trend for the first time. They decided to recreate the minerals they had around the geology lab—tourmaline, rhodochrosite, random geodes, etc. Anything that looked edible in rock form, which most do, was actually made edible thanks to this sugary trend.
Yet on the day of the lunch there was a mix up. There are bowls full of rocks all around the Geology Department, as one expects, and when it came time to grab the edible ones, one of the bowls full of real rocks and minerals were taken. When these mineral experts use an eight hour lab day to recreate rocks and minerals in edible form, it’s no surprise they looked like the real thing. So a mix-up was not a surprise, particularly when professors and students refused to label the different bowls due to pride in their identification abilities.
The rocks were for dessert, of course, so the lunch went on as normal for a while. The icebreakers of what is your favorite mineral or spot in the arb were asked. Really, all they talked about was geology, because it consumes their whole lives. In fact, I barely made contact with them about this article — despite searching the arb for stray lab assistants and TAs — but one professor reached out because this is the most newsworthy thing to happen to them since sliced rock.
Dessert was finally served and the rock eating began. Many showed up who were not part of making the edible rocks and minerals. They started by licking them as if it was another day of identification, but the professors in attendance said it was okay to take a bite. For some reason, when some started chipping their tooth, it didn’t deter others from trying. One student reported that “I saw my classmate chip his tooth, but I know his hometown has less fluoride in the water than mine, and anyway I brush my teeth better than he does, so I thought it would be fine for me.” An anonymous professor from the Geology Department said, “Many of us have chipped our teeth once or twice in our line of work. When we get very passionate about what we do, accidents happen. Also we may have tried eating rocks by accident, but we do not associate ourselves with the term ‘rock li…” When people started noticing that the rocks weren’t easy to eat, they asked around as to why. Those who were part of their creation said that they were trying to realistically recreate the minerals and rocks around the geology lab that looked most appetizing— “maybe the texture and durability came out realistic as well!”
Impressed by the work of their peers, everyone continued trying to eat the rocks and minerals set before them. One thing the Geology Department does not lack is a supportive community. Everyone fully ate the rock or mineral they chose from the bowl either through some rather painful chewing or the more well-known strategy of licking. One student, who wanted us to know that they have a high departmental GPA, told us, “I picked the fake gypsum because real gypsum is pretty soft, and I was hoping we would have replicated that, because I love that chalky texture. In the end, it was the best decision of my life, and I got extra credit.” In the end, the bowl was empty and stomachs were full of both Desi Diner and new “mineral deposits.”
It was only realized that the rocks eaten at lunch were fake when a geology lab the next week commenced and someone licked a rock that turned out to have a sugary taste. With no other markers for minerals like Borax, Melanterite or Chalcanthite, the student thought they had discovered a brand new mineral. Excited by their discovery, they went up to the anonymous professor and source for this story to show the mineral that they thought would rocket-launch their career in the field. Unfortunately, the professor who was tangled up in this mix-up put two and two together and informed the student that it was just a sugary piece of art. To add insult to injury, the student who made this would-be discovery ended up quite unwell, possibly because all of their peers had handled the rocks, and possibly because the “rocks” had been sitting out for two weeks.
Going back to the Geology Department, the professor told their colleagues what had happened. They emailed the students involved–though no one was hurt in this situation–and at the end of the email they said that if students do want to eat the actual edible rocks and minerals, they should stop by the Geology Department. That afternoon, the lounge was very popular despite it all.