Many college students arrive on campus hoping to succeed romantically. Whether it’s casual dating or looking for a forever partner, almost everyone is looking for someone. During my first couple of weeks at Carleton, I learned a startling statistic: nearly one-third of Carleton students marry other Carleton students. After observing my classmates and their freshman year situationships, I was skeptical, but hey, that data must have come from somewhere right? It seems to me that Carleton is doing much better than the rest of the country in the marriage department. 

In this day and age, marriage rates are lower than ever. In a study done by Pew Research, it was found that one in four 40 year-olds in the United States have never been married as of 2021. In my opinion, there are a number of important factors that contribute to this decline. Social media certainly plays a large role in the uptick of short-term relationships. Due to online dating apps that promote hookup culture and apps that provide easy access to pictures and videos of millions of people, the internet can cause individuals to develop negative attitudes towards relationships. The rise of influencers has led to the creation of a beauty standard that is nearly impossible for the average person to achieve, and therefore causes many people to believe that they can “do better” than their partner, even if the relationship is otherwise working. 

Two other important factors at play are rising political polarization and economic instability in the U.S.. In recent years, the Democratic and Republican parties have been pitted against each other like never before, and individuals have started to become increasingly more unwilling to be in a relationship with someone of an opposing political party. A 2023 survey from The Survey Center on American Life found that about two thirds of Americans would reject a potential partner that did not have the same political views as them. One reason that a difference in politics might be a definite deal-breaker has to do with women’s societal roles and rights. Within the past couple of years, abortion rights have become an especially hot-button issue, so it would be understandable that two people who fundamentally disagree on such a prevalent issue would be incompatible. Additionally, more women in the past few decades are pursuing careers, and may choose their career over marriage and starting a family, whereas historically women were expected to be homemakers. The high cost of living is also a major contributor to why people postpone marriage or start a family. Weddings are expensive, and so are children. Although many people are in long-term relationships, because of the rising normality of intimacy and sexuality outside of marriage, couples may not feel a need to get married. 

While there is a percentage of people in the younger generation who get married young, overall, the trend for millennials and Gen Z has been to delay or even completely forgo marriage, and frankly, I understand why. Many have witnessed the marriages of their parents and those around them fall apart, and so they are more careful about choosing the “right person”. More than older generations, younger adults are encouraged to stay in school for longer and become financially stable before settling down. Marriage is no longer the priority, education and money are. 

As I mentioned earlier, though, at Carleton the institution of marriage seems to be intact. A key contributor to the high marriage rate among Carleton students may be the famous (or infamous) Carleton Marriage Pact, an anonymous google form that is distributed amongst students. Candidates are matched based on their answers to a variety of questions, such as: birth order, political identity, religious views, social habits, and, most importantly: Do you thrift? 

In all seriousness, changing views on marriage and relationships are a natural response to our constantly developing society. I believe that they are neither good nor bad, they just are. 

While a decline in marriage rates may appear alarming at first glance, it may be because individuals are starting to value their own growth and happiness over a social norm. After all, marriage is not the sole indicator of love.