There will be no party this Saturday at 10:30 PM at the Druid Circle. Everyone is discouraged to attend, especially friends. We are in fact quite insulted that rumors have been circulating that we will be throwing an illegal party. We are not throwing one. We’re not expecting anyone to arrive—especially not earlier than 10:30 PM, this Saturday, at the Druid Circle.

People are not expected to bring additional drinks. No half-racks, slings, vino, moonshine and definitely no white lightning. 

With there being no party, people are not expected to venmo @Mike-Kombate if they don’t bring drinks, because nothing’s happening for them to be desirable on Saturday at 10:30 PM at the Druid Circle.

You can be so sure that this party is totally not a thing that we don’t need to clarify that the Druid Circle is in the Upper Arb behind Bell Field, to the right, and that we don’t need to provide a picture for identification. 

As nothing will be occurring that night, security is discouraged to waste its time examining the area. There will be nothing to break up or passive-aggressively judge. There will be nothing to see or hear from that side of campus; any noise or rowdiness is. Staying away will save you time.