Carleton College's student newspaper since 1877

The Carletonian

The Carletonian

The Carletonian

How to Keep Your New Year’s Resolutions

Emma MacArthur-Warner January 13, 2023

If you don’t keep your New Year’s resolutions, you will feel like a failure. So if you don’t want to feel like a failure, keep reading. Of course, feeling like a failure doesn’t necessarily...

What is laundry?

Emma MacArthur-Warner September 22, 2022

Forget doing laundry. We need to focus on defining it. I’m not joking. You probably think you already know what laundry is. And you probably use the word “laundry” correctly, to the extent that...

Still Single After Valentine’s Day? Try These Five Simple Steps

Emma MacArthur-Warner February 18, 2022

Since there’s no need to rub it in, I won’t mention that many of you, including me, are probably single. Nonetheless, this article may prove particularly useful to those of you who do happen to be...

A new approach to ~procrastination~

Emma MacArthur-Warner October 29, 2021

You may not realize that you struggle with procrastination. After all, most of us have learned to put off doing our homework, answering our emails and every other thing imaginable with only the faintest...

Toxic gratitude

Emma MacArthur-Warner May 23, 2021

Let’s face it: we were never meant to be happy. The gods made us when they realized that with so little to do on Olympus, they would never stop bickering among themselves until they found some other...

Leadership transition in Disability Services

Leadership transition in Disability Services

Emma MacArthur-Warner March 6, 2021

Carleton’s Disability Services Office—which provides student accommodations and support and works to improve understanding of disability in the campus community—has just begun a major transition...

On-campus studies at Carleton

Emma MacArthur-Warner February 6, 2021

Carleton College has proudly announced the establishment of its brand-new Office of On-Campus Studies, or OCS. (The process of naming the new office was delayed when several staff members expressed concern...

Where to Zoom? The Quest

Emma MacArthur-Warner October 30, 2020

For my first online lecture this fall, I sat at a picnic table on the Bald Spot. It was beautiful. I decided I had found the perfect place to Zoom. So the next time I sat there, I had high hopes—and...

okay, boomer

Emma MacArthur-Warner January 24, 2020

So little attention has been focused on toxic youthfulness that many people—the current reader perhaps included—still mistake the term for a satire or parody based on related terms such as toxic masculinity....

Side effects of liberal arts majors

Emma MacArthur-Warner November 15, 2019

Numerous treatments have been proposed in response to the ongoing epidemic of EAT, or Excessive Awareness of Triviality, a condition associated with unwanted recognition of life’s meaninglessness and...

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