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The Carletonian

The Carletonian

The Carletonian

What To Do With Wet Leaves: A Guide for Everybody!

Most of the trees have shed their leaves, and many of those leaves have been rained on at least once. For some, wet leaves are a menace. For others, wet leaves are mother nature’s finest gift. It seems that Carleton has survived the rainiest part of the fall, which is great; however, the time to plan for this same plight next year may already be here. Most likely, you fit at least one of the categories within the Dungeons and Dragons Alignment System. Digest this information however you choose.

Lawful Good
Attempt to salvage any crunching sounds you can. Best of luck.

Neutral Good
Shovel the leaves. Your rake won’t come in handy when the leaves are soggy.

Chaotic Good
Add the leaves to your salad, that is, if you’ve been itching to eat more locally.

Lawful Neutral
Construct a giant mountain of leaves (either mentally or physically, though this activity could cause serious harm).

True Neutral
“Slip” on wet leaves as you walk across campus. Will the injuries you incur lead to free tuition?

Chaotic Neutral
Manually dry the leaves to have a more authentic fall. The heated Memo/Cassat floors aren’t just to keep you cozy.

Lawful Evil
Race friends across the soaked leaves; though in reality, going faster than 5 mph on the moist foliage may only hurt you.

Neutral Evil
Pile the leaves to block the doors of your academic building of choice. No class, and an incredible workout.

Chaotic Evil
Throw wet leaves at people. For lack of a better way to say it, though, you probably suck if this sounds like you…

With this information as your guidebook, the sky should be the limit. If any more rain rolls around this fall, you know what to do. If not, fall 2020 will sneak up fast. Hopefully, the good and neutral crowd remembers this article. The same hope is not applicable to either Lawful Evil or Neutral Evil though, and it seems logical that someone who is truly Chaotic Evil would have only picked up the Carletonian to burn it or something.

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