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The Carletonian

The Carletonian

The five best Party Week parties: an irrefutable ranking

< Carleton student and an upper-middle-class white woman, I believe that Carleton has no issues whatsoever and that we exceed in everything we do. To that end, I’m a big supporter of school spirit—especially when it comes in the form of 200 to 300 sweaty people trapped in a forty-square-foot Dixon living room. I love my school and I think everybody should be proud to be a Carl.

Party Week is one of Carleton’s most sacred and storied traditions. For those who pour their milk before their cereal, Party Week is a week of connected and sometimes themed student-hosted parties (hence the name Party Week), where boys can be boys (especially during the Saturday one) and girls can be sisterly or do whatever girls do. Party week (Party Week).

There is literally nothing wrong with Party Week. 

Here are my personal top five parties of Party Week.

1. Sociology Night with the Boys — Porch House, Saturday

In which Carls embrace their inner activist and listen to a group of cis straight white boys explain issues of systemic inequality while, simultaneously, informing listeners that it was really, really difficult for them to get into Carleton but they’re glad they did because now they get to learn about all these issues in their SOAN classes. Oh there’s also beer.

2. Collared Shirt and Boat Shoes Night — Porch House, Tuesday

In which Carls dress up in their best Morgan Stanley Investment Banker interview outfit and always keep their hands folded in front of their stomachs. 

3. Guys Night — Porch House, Thursday

In which No Girls Allowed! This Is My Party And My Dad Said I Could Make The Rules. If You’re A Girl And Want To Get In Then Wait For Another Party Week Party Like Student-Athlete Night.

4. Student-Athlete Night — Porch House, Friday

In which athletes conglomerate into inseparable masses and make sure you know, by the end of the night, every single inside joke amongst their teams. If you were worried about having to be social that night, you don’t have to worry.

5. Porch Togas — Porch House, Monday

In which male nipples are exposed in the near-dark for two hours.

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