Carleton College's student newspaper since 1877

The Carletonian

The Carletonian

The Carletonian

How to: Procrastinate

<ir="ltr" id="docs-internal-guid-4a5ef549-6c03-6732-2848-3a447e9d249e">Carleton students are hard workers. So much so that they often forget to take much needed breaks. Want a distraction from writing that ten page paper on the theory of relativity but don’t know how? Here is a much needed guide on how to procrastinate:

1) The YouTube Procrastination: Working hard on researching sources? Videos can often be a good place to find interesting interpretations of your topic. Simply type your topic into the browser and keep on clicking suggested videos. Eventually, five hours later, you’ll be watching a cat meowing to the tune of Frère Jacques.

2) The Human Procrastination: Working diligently on that last minute lab report on first libe and bored out of your mind? Never fear! Keep on changing the place where you are studying until you are near somebody who is super distracting. Sayles is always a good choice!

3) The Literary Procrastination: Hate editing that video about geese for class? Don’t worry! There are so many poems that you could be writing instead. Start with the acrostic poems about tadpoles and eventually you’ll be on your way to spoken word poems about dinosaurs!

4) The Silent Procrastination: Is that 100-page reading just getting under your skin? I have the solution. Stare blindly off into the distance and think about life. Eventually an hour will have passed, and you’ll have covered topics from post-grad plans to why ducks have webbed feet to why man is inherently flawed.

5) The Cleanly Procrastination: Tired of building that six foot sculpture of Macbeth? Chisel no longer! Move all the furniture out, pick up the broom and begin to dust every corner of your room. You may find loose change! You may find magic beans! You never know.

6) The Adventurer Procrastination: Big project for Econ due tomorrow and feeling just done? Well, a city full of possibilities is just a bus away. Throw your darn assignment across the room, get on the bus and throw down in the cities for the rest of the night. Great food! Great concerts! Yay!

7) The Sincere Procrastination: Done being stuck in that study room by yourself studying for finals? Do something nice for someone! Put chocolate in your friend’s mailbox (and my mailbox, 1442), scream compliments at people as they cross the Bald Spot and buy every Carleton student a car. You’ll feel relaxed and like you’ve done a good deed.

8) The Procrastination Procrastination: Working on your procrastination skills and just want to procrastinate? This means it is time to get back to work!

Leave a Comment
More to Discover

Comments (0)

All The Carletonian Picks Reader Picks Sort: Newest

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *