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The Carletonian

The Carletonian

The Carletonian

Which Carleton major are you?

<t do you get to eat in late night Sayles?
a)    Chicken tenders with mustard. Some may find it gross, but it is the thing to get.
b)    Curly fries. They’re great for sharing.
c)    I don’t eat in Sayles unless I’m drunk. I’m too busy on a problem set.

2. What dorm do you think best represents you?
a)    Cassat. Seems fancy but has little flaws that get in the way– like the sensitive walls that ResLife will charge you for damaging at the end of the year.
b)    Watson. With the open lounge and thin walls, you have to socialize no matter what.
c)    Goodhue. I work really hard but need to be with one with nature sometimes (I guess Farm House could also work for this answer).

3. What kind of city do you see yourself living in after graduation?
a)    Any city with high rises and bougie opportunities.
b)    A city that is very pedestrian friendly.
c)    A city outside of the US. I can’t stand being in Trump territory any longer.

4. Where are you usually found studying?
a)    The libe. What do I need to give a creative answer here?
b)    Sayles. But not much actual studying happens.
c)    That upper part of CMC where you are basically hidden from society.

5. How are you dealing with the cold right now?
a)    When I get enough money someday I will sue Carleton for choosing to be in Minnesota. It is unbearable here.
b)    It’s rough, but I love the winter traditions and fun, I guess.
c)    I’m inside most of the time so I don’t notice that much.

6. Do you believe in the Sayles inside job conspiracy?
a)    Of course. This institution is out to get us.
b)    I mean I missed Sayles but I don’t know if I would go that far.
c)    People will just find any ridiculous excuse like this to distract themselves.

Mostly’s A’s

Congrats! You’re a bro, or a bruh, to be gender-inclusive. Mainly bruhs are in the poli sci (cough cough, myself) and econ departments, but almost any major has them. Being a bruh is not a bad thing. Just accept that you are one, though. It is an identity to reclaim. I will just say that there is more to life than capitalism.

Mostly B’s
You are a Sociology/Anthropology major. You are a social person and so it is inevitable that you like to study humans and society in general. You parents may complain that you won’t get a job with your major. In response, tell them that you, the social butterfly, actually got that dream job because you connected so well with the interviewer.

Mostly C’s
You are a STEM major. As someone who took the bare minimum of STEM classes needed to fulfill distros, I envy your ability to do that huge packet of problem sets. All the numbers and Greek letters put together you are somehow able to decode. As a result, you get credit for working harder than other majors, despite the fact that there are no “best” majors, contrarily to popular belief. Keep working hard, but relax a bit too.

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