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The Carletonian

The Carletonian

The Carletonian

A Scapegoat to Unite Around: Week 9

<ir="ltr" id="docs-internal-guid-a1ac7776-545d-da3f-eee4-306fce513be9">A lot has happened in the last week. The results of the election show a divided country in desperate need of something to unify it. So everyone take a deep breath and gather around a copy of The Carletonian. Because we have found a scapegoat every Carl can unite around: Week 9.

Week 9 is a no good, very bad week because…

There’s too much to do, and too little time to do it.

You’re ALWAYS tired. Your conversations during this period tend a lot toward:

    “Oh you’re tired. What were you doing?”


You realize that you are academically deficient and don’t like it.

Screw date fallout. All of the comets of love flying around last week are starting to crash and there is a lot of awkward conversational debris leftover.

Where are all the animals?! Are they hibernating? Why can’t I hibernate? Why do I have FOMO for an animal?

You start wearing more and going out less.

Damn! That’s a lot of projects and essays squeezed into one week!

You have become too attached to this place and are not ready to bid it the triannual goodbye.

It is FREAKING ninth week!

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