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The Carletonian

The Carletonian

The Carletonian

Spring term I want some rules back

<ir="ltr">It’s over halfway through Spring Term No Rules, and things have been going swell. Sort of. The land of lawlessness, the times without rules or regulations, can very much make spring time euphoric and liberating. But at the same time, I’d really love to have some rules back. Here a few rules that I am going to personally employ, but I’d suggest others do as well, to survive the remaining weeks at Carleton.  

Do your laundry on time:

My dorm has had piles of laundry that sit in the damp darkness for days unattended. That’s how we get mold and unpleasant things happen. I have to wonder, when you do laundry, isn’t it because you desperately need clean clothing? Don’t your clothes matter? Shouldn’t you probably take care of them? I’m not saying you need to sprint down to the laundry room the second you sense your load is done, I’m just saying you should probably take care of your clothing within 24 hours of first pressing the start button.


Balance outdoor activities with study time:

Winter was so much easier. The cold was bitter and basically nature’s way of saying “GO INSIDE AND DO YOUR HOMEWORK DUMMIE WHY ARE YOU TRYING TO ICE SKATE WHEN IT IS -20 WITH WINDCHILL.” And we listened to nature. Now, nature is no longer cold and distant. Nature seduces us into spending time outside, thinking that we can both enjoy the sun and do homework. In my experience, this is a lie. There will be many fun people around you, sunshine you want to soak up, and frisbees you’d rather toss than reading Plato. Best of luck to all homework doers, but I’d suggest maybe trying to play outside and read indoors, for the sake of Plato. Balance, people.


Don’t catch the feels:

Look. I get it. He/she/they are super cute. Like SO cute. Like you cannot BELIEVE how cute they are. As a rule, earlier in the term, I’d say: do whatever you want! Spring term no rules, friend! Fall in love with all the humans! Now you need to stop. Right now. Guard your hearts. Spring term is almost over. Do you really want to spend the next three months(aka eternity!) separated from your lover by geography? Didn’t think so. Cut that ish out, people. No feelings. None.


Frolf respectfully:

I understand that the world is calling to all of you frolfers. Why do your homework on a Wednesday night when the frisbee is singing its siren song to you? In the process of procrastinating with your beloved frisbee, let’s not forget the core tenet of frolfing: Frolf respectfully. Pay attention to those living things called human beings that walk around as you try to plan your perfect frolf throw. We’ll stay out of your way if you stay out of ours.


Don’t get attached to your senior friends:  

It’s been so great to get to know all of the amazing seniors and people at Carleton. So great. But it’s going to end soon. So soon. It’s sad to think about. These wonderful people have spent their last four years here, and now they are leaving us. IT’S JUST NOT FAIR. So what can us underclassmen/not senior people do? Once again, I say: guard your hearts, friends. Know that you can love these humans, but that they will leave you in a few short weeks. “If you love me, let me gooooooooo” say the seniors, and we have to stand and watch as they embark on this next adventure. We’ll be here next year, j-chillin, wishing our seniors had never left us and already preparing for a whole new batch of people to bid us goodbye. It’s the circle of college. Brutal.

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