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The Carletonian

The Carletonian

Dear Sleep Schedule: A letter to my neglected lover

<ir="ltr">To my beloved Sleep Schedule,

I love you. I love you. I love you. I will say that simple statement to you until my tongue dries up, my teeth fall out and my mouth can no longer form the words. How many times do I need to say it before you believe me? I will do whatever it takes to get you back.

I realize that I have truly betrayed you in many, many ways. Since September of 2015, I have been very inconsistent in responding to your texts and hanging out with you. I do admit that I flat out stood you up on more than one occasion. There was also that period in October when I basically ignored your existence. True, once it was late November, I became the picture perfect significant other, bringing you flowers, calling you everyday and finding any excuse to spend quality time with you. However, come February I was back to being the cold, distanced individual that I may truly be at the core.  Nobody, especially not you, deserves such flaky-ness.

On top of my flaws in this relationship, I have been seeing someone else. At this point, it might not come as a surprise. All those late nights I stayed out, coming home smelling of stress and freshly printed paper, I was with my schoolwork.  This is probably not a surprise to you. I remember that time you caught me cuddling with my geology textbook. There was also that awkward moment when you saw my phone buzz while on my desk with a notification to meet with my essay in Sayles, during our planned date night.

To put it simply, I am the worst.

It makes sense that you officially cut off our relationship last week. If I were in your situation, I would do the exact same thing. You’re probably wondering, then, why the hell am I writing to you this cheesy letter.

It’s because in these days you have been officially erased from my life picture, I realize that I really need you. My body aches, I have giant circles under my eyes, and I can’t think straight. The other day in my religion class, I said Kanye West was a past US president. That’s how screwed up my brain is without you.

You’re probably thinking this, “Why would I take Justine back, the most flaky person I have ever been with?” I understand your hesitation. Therefore, I am writing this to emphasize that I have changed. Each day since you broke up with me, I have done some serious reflection to figure out how to manage my schedule and better prioritize those important to me, and you’re the person most important to me. I have come to many realizations in these few days and I really am a better person, one who is ready to love you better.

I love you, sweet sleep schedule. Please take me back.

           Love (to the greatest possible degree),


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