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The Carletonian

The Carletonian

The Carletonian

Pickup Lines to Make Your Valentine’s Day Slightly More Awkward than Usual

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  • Hey girl, you study beautifully. Want to hit up the Libe with me sometime and make fleeting eye contact as we turn the pages of our gothic novels?
  • Boy, you’ve warmed my heart, and my feelings for you are messier than the cheese on my Sayles melt.
  • My heart was as empty as my mailbox on a Friday until you came along and brightened it with your flowery smile.
  • The thought of you makes the walk to the Weitz bearable. Wanna cuddle on this weird plastic yellow couch with me as we glance at paper cranes and twinkling lights?
  • I’ve wasted too much money buying Friday Flowers on myself–can I buy you one instead?
  • Thinking about what to say to you causes me more stress than midterms.
  • Aren’t you tired from running around my mind all day? (jk you’re pretty athletic and I know you work out at the Rec I appreciate that about you, keeping your health up for me)
  • Did it hurt when you fell from fourth Libe onto my solitary desk on first Libe?
  • Has anyone told you you’re a lot like Lyman? Because I just want to take you into my room and put you on my bed and watch you fall asleep.
  • I would spend my last Sayles dollar on you.
  • The thought of losing you is more terrifying than losing my OneCard (even though you can’t provide me shelter or food with a single swipe).
  • Every time I look into your eyes, I just want to ride away into the sunset on a Northfield Lines bus with you. The ticket is on me.
  • Don’t shut me out of your heart- I’ve been abandoned by Eduroam too many times.
  • Are you Netflix, because you take up all my time and make me forget I have any other responsibilities.
  • I’d give you the last box of Sayles mozarella sticks at 12:59:59 on a Saturday. That’s how valuable you are to me.
  • Want to get Naked (juice) at Sayles with me?
  • You might be number 457 on the room draw, but you’re number 1 in my heart.
  • Are you The Carletonian, because a lot of people kind of hate you, but I still like you? (the heart wants what it wants)
  • Can I subscribe to the listserv of your heart?
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