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The Carletonian

The Carletonian

The Carletonian

Is that a OneCard in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?

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Carleton is an inclusive environment that provides its students a host of resources. Most places are open to any student with a OneCard, but some privileged few can go into places that the rest of the student body can’t.

These privileges must be earned by going on mythic quests, racking up enough purchases at Sayles to give you a OneCard Gold membership, or by becoming involved with a relevant club or organization to the extent that its leadership trusts you to have access to the facilities.

However you choose to do it, here are some sweet OneCard restricted locations that are worth checking out.

Places you can get onecard access:

Carletonian office:

Located right next to the Security Office, the office will make you feel extra safe in case of an emergency. Also, you can put your coat in there during Mid-Winter and Ebony, so it’s pretty sweet.

CCCE & SAO office:

Have people see you do things through the glass panels of the door! It’s like being in a zoo, except you’re the animal. Also, donuts!

KRLX Studio Music Library:

Feel like a real hipster as you dig through vinyls of obscure music.


Infinite stargaze and chill seshs? Sign me up! Also, a meteor collection used as tuition for a student during the Great Depression? Cooooooool.

Arena theater:

With all the charm of a 20th century building now condemned for an unsafe foundation, Arena is home to a legendary collection of hundreds of unused filing cabinets, spooky noises, and slowly moldering theater chairs. Who wouldn’t want to hang out in there?

Other lowkey places I don’t know about because they are too obscure and hip:

These places are so dope you haven’t even heard about them. Probably home to the bust of Schiller, may it rest in peace.

Places we would Like to have onecard access:

Security office:

Why go in the Carletonian office when you can instead bond with the real OGs next door. Assert your dominance, walk in and ask to be transported!

24/7 Cowling Gym:

What if you wanted to get swole after hours? Maintaining them well-defined biceps is not an easy task. Solution: work out at two AM.

24/7 Sayles Cafe:

Imagine this: It is 4:20AM. You are studying for your mid- terms. You are a defeated man and your life is falling apart. What if you could just grab some coffee and mozzarella sticks to sooth your soul, they’re like the equivalent of a mother’s gentle hug.

Stevie P’s house:

When you’re president of a college, every hour should be office hour! Catch him in uncomfortable moments and talk about divestment!

You know what else we should all have access to? Basic human rights, free health care and education.

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