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As fall comes, the corpses of dead leaves and the smell of pumpkin-spiced foods remind us that the time has come for things to get a little spooky out there. Of course, to give yourself a thrill, you could just browse the multitude of horror movies on Netflix or embrace the spirit of Halloween and walk around campus on Halloween night to watch people transform into their alter egos through their costumes.
However, in the age where Netflix’s monthly subscription fee has increased by $1/month (a true horror in itself) and the costumes you see are barely spooky anymore, replaced by costumes with pop culture references or puns that barely make sense, maybe it’s time you seek out other ways to truly scare yourself. Here are some of my suggestions.
• checking your bank account balance and realizing you have $1.74 left
• ditto your Sayles dollars
• watching your GPA fall along with the leaves
• seeing 11 missed calls from your mom
• coming back to the room to realize you’ve been sexiled
• having no one to hangout with while you’re being sexiled
• wondering if Lyman is being taken care of in a warm and safe place
• thinking about your workload in the next 3 weeks
• thinking about your career after graduation
• thinking about that one time you embarrassed yourself in front of your crush 7 years ago
• realizing the banality of our everyday life
• realizing that we are minuscule in this universe
• comprehending that death is inevitable and the steady progression of time is as ceaseless as it is merciless
However you choose to get festive this year, just remember to have fun with it! True spookiness isn’t about having a great costume or getting lots of candy, it’s about the spirit of the season and remembering that we are all only a few hundred years removed from rampant disease and scientific illiteracy.