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The Carletonian

The Carletonian

The Carletonian

Is McDonald’s a legit wedding locale?

<ve you been planning your wedding since you were old enough to be controlling? Do you go to weddings and mentally change all the elements that you don’t like? Do you watch “The Notebook” and cry because no one is ever going to love you the way Noah loves Allie? It’s okay. Some, if not all of those items, apply to a majority of the female demographic ages 16-24.

I can honestly say that I have never “planned” my one-day-in-the-future wedding. It’s hard to say now what I will want then. Though sometimes, it is easier to know what you don’t want in circumstances such as this.

This story comes to you from Hong Kong, a place I have never been and know nothing about. But according to the Feb. 27 New York Times article entitled “Raising a Milkshake to the Bride and Groom,” it appears that Hong Kong is pioneering a new wave of matrimonial bliss as the first place in the world to bear witness to the “McWedding.” If you are an American who understands prefixes, then you are correct in guessing that this is a wedding held at a McDonald’s.

Now I am not one to judge this event. The article is actually pretty interesting, and I encourage all of you to read it. But for the sake of comedy and commentary, this story gives me too much good material. I must take advantage of it.

I guess the best thing to do at this point is to imagine if this becomes a fad in America. McDonald’s really does have a different connotation on an international level. But here in the good ol’ US of A, the McSocciations that come with those two golden arches are hard to avoid. I can’t even eat McDonald’s when I’m hung over without my housemates judging me.

If the McWedding were to happen on the home field, the first issue would surely be, “Which McDonald’s?” Because there’s the nice McDonald’s with the aquarium or faux art on the walls, and it’s okay to take your grandparents there for an early lunch. There’s the fun McDonald’s with that triple level play space, and even though some kid broke his arm on it last year it’s still so much fun! And of course there is the sketchy McDonald’s, and you hate going to it, but the drive-thru line goes so fast it’s hard not to stop.

As far as I’m concerned, most cities have this variety of McDonald’s. So if I did want a McWedding, would my social class and finances then be judged depending on the McDonald’s of my choosing? Would you feel a little slighted if I threw down the cash for only Dollar Menu items as opposed to, I don’t know, a legitimate item from the combo menu? Would you be absolutely bewildered at the fact that we would not be serving breakfast menu items during dinner? Frankly, the McWedding seems like an incredibly stressful process. There are just so many choices!

I know that I should value weddings for what they mean:  love, companionship, mortgages, et cetera, et cetera. And it also should not matter where one decides to enter into this union. I’ve never considered myself a judgmental person, either, so I guess on a very basic level I don’t really have an issue with the McWedding. But when the day comes for a priest to say, “You may now kiss the bride,” I’d prefer it not be followed up with, “Do you want fries with that?”

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