This week, security announced new parking restrictions, developed in collaboration with the town of Northfield and a concerned citizen, or “townie,” by the name of Ebeneezer Scrooge. Unfortunately for many Carleton students with cars who do their very best to follow the regulations, security’s announcement of these new restrictions was limited to a very small infographic added on the night of Monday the 18th to the SWA stalls of the downstairs Sayles bathrooms, which have both been out of order since May 2nd due to the presence of an escaped leopard. 

Some highlights of these restrictions include the fact that it is now illegal to be street-parked on the stretch of Union Street between Musser and the Weitz for 12 seconds at the start of every seventh minute, illegal to be parked in a Carleton parking lot if you have a sticker of any other higher education institution on your rear windshield and most egregiously, illegal to park your car horizontally across two spots in the stadium lot! This last restriction is a total violation of students’ self expression, and is being helpfully protested by new chalking activities in the parking lot, where art majors are adding very precise yellow lines every foot so that security doesn’t know where each spot truly is. 95% of Studio Art Majors at Carleton College do not actually have their own drivers licenses, so this is a stunning show of solidarity. 

In another beautiful work of protest, students in the Rec parking lot have all parked their cars at a 45 degree angle to their spot, carefully staying just inside the lines. Student Abitha Ones ’27 was asked about her participation in this event, and commented, “Yes… I was very careful and intentional when I parked my car earlier today. I knew what was going on, and I did it on purpose. I looked when I got out to make sure my parking job was just bad enough. I definitely didn’t think it was kind of alright, because that wouldn’t make sense.” 

A group of six seniors, soon to graduate, also developed a brilliant strategy to protest the regulation prohibiting signs of other colleges. Each bought one letter, and organized their cars in a row, claiming that the letters were the initials of their cars names: Stacy, Tracy, Oakley, Lacy, Amy and Franny. Security alleged that the arrangement was intentional, but the students successfully appealed the citation with Google Calendar documentation that they had returned to their spots in that particular order. 

Seniors, in fact, have largely stepped up in organizing these protests, as they are immune to the punitive measures of registration holds. Additionally, many are underloading or simply don’t care at all anymore, meaning that they have time to show up in person, as the appeals process requires. Senior Thir Stee ’26 said, “I was willing to do anything that would give me a reason to go down to security. I’m graduating in three weeks. This is my last chance to talk to the hot security guard, and disputing the claim that my tire was on the yellow line was the perfect excuse. Best $20 I ever spent, really.”