Friday, Feb. 20 — Carleton, once again, makes headlines in the science community.
Last March, national news outlets reported the discovery of a new organism in Watson 3rd. Scientific investigators were not at all surprised, however, reporting that Watson 3rd was “so incredibly disgusting” that it would act as an environment “perfectly compatible with the cultivation of countless forms of new bacteria.”
Over the summer, janitorial staff ripped up the mysterious jungle growths in Watson 3rd and deep cleaned and disinfected the kitchen. Just last week, however, Carleton experienced another unusual scientific occurrence.
In what admin describes as “really worrisome but also lowkey adorable” turn of events, a sophomore student opened their Owala water bottle on Friday morning, and out of the cap popped a furry friend. The Burton tofu strip-sized animal looked “kind of like a mix between a labubu and a cat.”
“Sure, I haven’t cleaned my water bottle out since 2023. But I did not expect that to happen,” said the owner of the Owala, recalling that what had started as a little bit of black, and sometimes green and blue mold, began forming into an autonomous animal.
News of the furry friend, dubbed Owally, spread like wildfire across campus, and soon other students purposely neglected to clean the suspicious organisms growing in their Owala caps to breed other furry friends, hoping they would offer some moral support and serotonin to help them gear up for their eighth midterm of the term. The SWA office began offering petting sessions so students could hang out with Owally, and the Carleton Bookstore even began selling plushies of Owally wearing a mini Carleton shirt (prices start at $400).
Owally’s sudden popularity across campus sparked a growing debate over whether furry Owala friends should be considered Carleton students. In response, the administration enrolled Owally as a student and appointed the furry creature to work at Burton. “We all started cheering when Owally gave us our chichen tinga.” BonApp staff eagerly made a tiny visor and green button down for Owally to wear.
