Carleton already has a remarkable history with the Olympic games. Carleton Track & Cross-Country alum Matthew Wilkinson qualified for the Steeplechase at the 2024 Paris Olympics.
That’s pretty much it.
Anyway, Carleton made history this year, as activities central to the college’s campus life were introduced as events at the Winter Olympics. When the games commenced on Friday, Feb. 6, Carleton students were ecstatic to watch their very own daily activities be part of a worldwide, millennia-old athletic tradition. Below are a few of the Carleton events that will be part of this year’s winter Olympic Games.
Anderson Sprinting
Ever seen individuals bolt at top speeds down the hallway next to the atrium, for no particular reason? Participants in this event have to dodge regular people walking down the hallway to class, who will be given extra-large phones to look at.
Competitive LDC chicken cutting
Competitors, armed with dull butter knives, will race to see who can slice through a rock-hard piece of chicken breast the fastest. Cooked months in advance.
The situationship shuffle
Ever bumped into that one evil situationship in Sayles? Competitors in this game must face off to see who can escape the fastest.
Anderson Endurance climb
If you’re an isolated study room warrior, this one’s for you! Competitors, wearing full backpacks, must climb up five flights of stairs in massive winter coats and boots. Staircases are designed like the one in Sayles for extra humiliation when you fall.
LDC Ice speed skating
If you’re one of those people who has slipped on the big sheet of ice outside of LDC on the way to breakfast (NOT me), try throwing on a pair of skates and seeing what you can do.
The Taqueria Trot
Participants who have just consumed Burton chicken tinga face off to see who can sprint to the bathroom fastest (alternative event includes seeing how long you can wait before running to the bathroom).
Wild Goose Chase (goose is chasing you)
Competitors must choose to either fight or flee the malicious geese who haunt the bridge across Lyman Lakes.