When students move from dorms to campus houses, they often take up some of the responsibilities of home ownership like cooking communal dinners, doing household chores or sweeping piles of invasive beetles off of their front porch. One of the lesser-known perks (or tooth-pullingly painful responsibilities, depending on who you ask) of house living, however, is being in a favorable location for children in the community who are trick-or-treating. While the practice is fun for campus house residents, procuring a bag of candy on a college student’s budget can be a challenge. Thus, many of Carleton’s house-dwellers have found a sneaky strategy that doesn’t cost them a dime.
“It was simple, really,” said townhouse resident Ima Stealit ’26. “My housemates and I all take one lap around campus a day, taking one piece of candy from each little bowl we can find. We have to be inconspicuous about it, but we don’t really discriminate between offices. I’ve had to convince the SOAN people I want to change my major because I’m in that office so much. I think my comps proposal for them is due soon, but I’m not gonna think about that until after Halloweekend.”
As house residents across campus meet and pool their spoils at house dinners, a common problem seems to emerge. Though each individual candy bowl might contain a variety of different options, statistics converged to create a…unique mix in students’ stashes.
“It’s all Tootsie rolls,’” said house manager Jack O’Lantern ‘27. “My house has been squirreling away candy for two weeks to prepare, one little piece at a time, but no matter how hard we try to hit all the offices on campus, we only get Tootsie rolls. One of my roommates has started booking appointments at the Writing Center every day to take a piece, but by the end of the day, all they have is Tootsie rolls too. It’s never ending. We had so many, I had to make Tootsie roll chili for dinner last night. NOT good.”
House residents are starting to get nervous as Halloween approaches. Their meager candy stashes might hold them over for the four children whose parents let them within 1000 feet of Dow, but they are worried about how their selection will stack up against their competitors on campus.
“Ally B is giving out FULL SIZE candy bars,” said Northfield Option resident Kat Kit ’26. “I mean, I know we can’t stack up to that, but all we have is a bowl full of teeny tiny Tootsie rolls and a few ancient mini Crunch bars. What does that say about Carleton? How will that reflect on us? I don’t want to stain the regal reputation of The Apartment Above Rare Pair House. It’s hard enough luring the kids up the poorly lit staircase”
So, whether you are still scrambling to fill your candy bowl with philosophy department candy rejects or you are refinancing your student loans to get a bag of candy from Family Fare, make sure to stop by your townhouse neighbors tonight. And if you’re met with a bowl full of Tootsie rolls, think about how cool it is that in the year 2025 we get to experience what chewing on chocolate flavored Silly Putty feels like.
