On Sept. 26, Carleton finally held the Student Involvement Fair, with the goal of finally inspiring the current crop of first-years to become more involved in clubs, sports and a wide variety of student organizations. The event that was not widely advertised, however, was the simultaneous first-annual “Insect Involvement Fair.” Org leaders reported that they were told “on the down low” by Dean of Students Carolyn Livingston to feature elements like unwrapped candy and juice to cater to the secondary audience. While it’s not clear at this time what the administration’s intentions are in beginning to accommodate these pests and creatures, they are certainly making an effort to offer them full rides (more than the students they are being provided with as rides).
Isaac Kofsky ’27, who represented the Jewish Students of Carleton (JSC) at the Involvement Fair, confessed that he intentionally poured about 15 cups of Kedem grape juice on the table to accommodate wasps, per Livingston’s request. He stated, “she didn’t specify wasps, but I was worried that other student orgs would make less efforts to include them than other bugs, and I wanted to be equitable. I, for one, am passionate about insect equality and food/drink security on this campus. It’s become a real issue since then, though. The wasps come to Shabbat, which is fine and great, but then when I transport leftover pasta or challah to my house, they follow me. I feel like my privacy is being invaded just because I made an effort to be nice. The invasive ladybugs, too, keep hanging around my house.” While Kofsky may be alone in his selectiveness about the religious practice of our new companions, he’s not the only one facing these issues.
Zoe Roettger ’‘27 who runs Carleton’s invitation-only strategy games club, shared that she “unwrapped some Tootsie Rolls and left them at the end of the table for the bugs, but the human students wouldn’t go past it to the human-labelled pile. And Dean Livingston came over and yelled at me for segregating the two audiences. On the bright side, the pile definitely increased bug attendance at my left-neighbouring table, KRLX, who were delighted to replace the big gaps of dead air in their schedule this term with buzzing.”
Indeed, Shreya Mehta ’27, who manages community involvement for KRLX, shared, “while at first I was upset that so many bugs were signing up for shows, after seeing how uninterested the freshmen were, I was actually relieved. Besides, I know bee noises are a bit mainstream, but I’ve actually been getting really into fly leg-clacking lately. The pitch isn’t audible to the human ear, but the vibe is great.”
Other clubs, such as the Synchrony II dance group, are hugely excited by the prospect of choreographing for human and insect pairs. While the embrace of this new community may be slow, it’s already seeming fruitful (particularly for the wasps, who are being offered the berries students’ miss in the dining halls in order to prompt attendance).
Livingston personally echoed some of the sentiments shared by student org leaders, sharing, “while I know the data suggests that we have our most introverted class of first-years ever, it’s important to focus on the wins. For instance, bug involvement levels are reaching new heights, and once we’re able to enroll them as students, our numbers will go way up.”
That’s right – the admin is planning on not just getting these flies, wasps, ladybugs and ants involved in campus, but on furthering their education. Pretty radical, if you ask this paper. While some may be disgusted by this deception, or their new classmates, we can only hope that these seemingly very involved and intelligent students will help Carleton return to its once honored #6 (or at least 7) on US News & World Report’s list of best liberal arts colleges.