Across campus, students are welcoming the return of weather, not just through slicing frisbees at other people’s heads and refusing to apply sunscreen, but by sneezing! As white, pink and yellow petals litter the ground, students prone to allergies are suffering as clouds of pollen swirl in the air and collect in piles on the ground. Sneezing, red and watery eyes and congestion are all signs that you may be suffering from allergies to pollen. What this means is frequent trips to Target and Family Fare for allergy relief medications.
Some students, however, are reporting surprising and mysterious symptoms that differ slightly from common allergy symptoms. Some students report that despite taking proper allergy medication, or even when they are inside, they continue to experience unbearable allergic reactions.
First-year student Alle Gra ’28 reports that even after taking EIGHT non-drowsy allergy relief pills from Family Fare (DO NOT do this), she still felt severe allergic reaction symptoms in her Political Science class. This was the first time she had experienced such severe symptoms unresponsive to medication, and the only difference she noticed in her routine that day was who she sat next to in her class, the funky-smelling guy who has “just always gotta play Devil’s Advocate” (Gra ’28). In class, when discussing women’s suffrage, the POSC student, donned in a red flannel and Asics, leaned back in his chair, stuck two fingers up, and began his sentence with “I hate to be that guy, but…” prompting a 15-minute discussion of why women are just a little too emotional to have the right to vote. Gra reported that once he began his tirade, her body was immediately overtaken with a sneezing fit so severe that she banged her head on the ceiling several times and her eyes became so swollen that she lost her ability to see. After 15 minutes, when That Guy stopped talking, her symptoms immediately went away.
A similar situation occurred in an economics class on Wednesday, where Clari Tin ’27 reported that as soon as the Finance Bro in her class strutted through the door, decked out in his Patagonia vest and Oura ring, she exploded in a fit of sneezing a coughing, going through an entire box of tissues in a class period, though she had just taken a concerning amount of allergy medication. Her symptoms worsened when he began talking about “the game last night”.
Another startlingly similar situation occurred during a biology lab on Thursday morning. When an athlete, wearing a tiny wife beater, shoe lifts and a backwards cap fake-limped through the door, Zyr Tec ’25 explained that her throat closed up so severely that she couldn’t breathe, even though she had taken medication just before class. However, as soon as he took his 45-minute bathroom break, she reported that her symptoms immediately disappeared.
These recurring situations have sparked a broader discussion across campus. Clara Tin thought that maybe her allergic reaction was in response to the Finance Bro’s overwhelming scent of Dior Sauvage, while Zyr Tec thought that she was reacting to the athlete being literally soaked in Axe body spray. However, after such similar situations, female students especially are coming out in droves, each discussing how their bodies physically rejected the presence of the men in their classes. Are these spring allergies actually in reaction to pollen, or just the really annoying guys in your class?
