The Carleton student population returned from spring break just over two weeks ago, and, like after every break, this means a resurgence in the appearance of obscene male haircuts across campus. From the Row to the Rec, one may be able to discern a male student who has just returned from home with a horrifying haircut by simply looking out for Boss Baby, Gru or Dr. Nefario. Historically, in the periods after students have returned from break, campus security has been overwhelmed with calls for assistance as Carleton students suffer from widespread health crises, the result of witnessing fresh male haircuts. Common resulting health crises include students passing out, throwing up or suffering temporary blindness. These health crises reached a peak following winter break when a first-year girl was so stunned at the repulsive nature of a particularly appalling bleached buzz cut that she passed out and fell down the stairs at Sayles, suffering a concussion. 

The administration noticed the harm this issue presented to the student body and has delegated that Student Health and Counseling (SHAC) host a support group for the witnesses of disgusting male haircuts, led by a life coach and trauma specialist. The support group meets every Wednesday at 5 p.m. and hosted its first meeting this past Wednesday, April 16. While originally scheduled to meet in the office of a SHAC counselor on the ground floor of Davis, SHAC was forced to improvise when their expected attendance goal of 15 students was overwhelmed as the entire female population of campus lined up to check in for the support group. The check-in line at SHAC was so long that it wound down the hall to the Burton cafeteria, up the stairs, all the way through Sayles to Leighton, across campus to the CMC and observatory and all the way across the bridge to the Hill of Three Oaks. As such, SHAC will be hosting future meetings in the Great Hall. 

Activities SHAC offers at the support group promote mindfulness and give students the tools to cope with the anxiety and trauma associated with encountering male haircuts. Associated activities include deep breathing exercises, meditation and group-sharing exercises where attendees can cope through sharing their experiences.