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.m. on a Tuesday, and I’m poking around the front of the Wellness Center waiting for them to open.

It’s 8:29 a.m.

“Can I help you?”

“I need Plan B.”

“We don’t dispense it here.   If your girlfriend would come in…”

Well at least they assumed it was my girlfriend and not a one-night stand.  What if it was my sister?  What if it was just a friend?  They have no right.  And I’m sure she’d be thrilled to be personally identified by all the wellness staff, given an enema, and asked about which great-great-grandfather died of a bullet wound in the Civil War.  But just maybe I don’t want to put her through that.

“No, I need Plan B.”

“We can’t…”

“So you can’t give me Plan B?”

“No.”

“There’s no way I can get it here?”

“You’ll have to go to Walgreens or EconoFoods, but it’ll cost a lot more”.

No ****.  I didn’t think of that before I decided to deal with these people.  Now there are some good things about the Wellness Center, but that day I clearly got a message.  Because I am male, I have no business with this kind of thing.  Maybe they think I woke up early looking like death because I’m a morning person and I don’t take care of myself.  Maybe they think I’m going to force feed the emergency contraceptive to my pet guinea pig.  Maybe they think I’ll sell it on the Chinese black market.   Or maybe they just have no sympathy for me because they think I was stupid.  But the condom broke–can’t I get some benefit of doubt?  Does the Wellness Center really care more about regulating emergency use of Plan B than preventing a pregnancy?

It’s 8:47 a.m. and I’m at the pharmacy window at EconoFoods.

“I need plan B.”

“OK: do you have ID?”

[Checks my age, I pay.]

“Have a nice day.”

These people get it.  Wellness Center take note.

-Submitted anonymously