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The Carletonian

The Carletonian

The Carletonian

Where in the World is Schiller Sandiego?: Excerpts from the travel diary of Johann Christoph Friedrich Schiller


Date: 13th of October in the year 2022

Location: Somewhere in the Americas, recently secured shelter at a small institute amidst the open plains, much corn, the flattest place I’ve ever been to.

Spent most of the day on the run from authorities. You write a few banger German plays, a poem or two, become immortalized in the currency of some small-town college over in the Americas and still can never make everyone happy. It appears my alluring good looks coupled with my dashing intellect elicit quite the rabble-rousing, of which the watchmen on campus are not particularly fond of. Such is the life of a celebrity. 

Thankfully the common folk are pleasant enough, ensuring I have bread enough and always a warm bed. Their diet is exemplary, meat is eaten every day and the sweets must be from the gods, for the amount of sugar within them must be beyond mortal skill even for the most proficient baker. I have been nothing but welcomed; however, I remain quite perplexed by their behavior. 

We can be in the midst of an agreeable chat at one of their lodgings, and then all of a sudden I am attacked and whisked away to some other corner of campus. It all looks the same, red bricks and cream walls, so I cannot tell within which building I have ended up. Though to say they all look the same must not imply they are equal, for I have noticed some inns are more favorable than others. My favorite one supplies the smell of food all through the day right to one’s bed, although the hallways are in need of more candle-lighting; it is a trade off I am most willing to accept. 

I mind not all this travel, being uprooted into the assemblage of another cohort every now and then, for they provide such fascinating conversation. But I am beginning to suspect there is more at work here than they are being forthcoming about. There seems such joy at my arrival, but I wonder if there is not also a note of triumph, though I am uncertain of what there is to triumph over upon the occasion of my arrival. I hope to be entrusted with the knowledge surrounding this social milieu, but for now I am satisfied with outwitting the pesky constables and enjoying the many sights of this here Carleton. 

*translated from German

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Mileana Borowski
Mileana Borowski, Managing Editor
I am a junior Political Science major who loves to write! I take midday showers, have a professional stunt double (shout out to my identical twin), and I love my stuffed animals maybe a little too much. I have a cactus named The Cliffords and a plant named Francis. If you're having a conversation with me for longer than thirty seconds and I haven't mentioned my dog, please check in because something is probably wrong. Mileana was previously News Editor, Bald Spot Editor and Design Editor.

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