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The Carletonian

The Carletonian

The Carletonian

On-floor relationships: Too close to home?

<e my arrival at Carleton, it is safe to say that my vocabulary has greatly expanded. Sure, I've been learning the meanings of some long words that are difficult to pronounce thanks to my various classes. But even more impressive to me are the words that I didn't even know existed (and that pretty much only exist at Carleton) that I have been introduced to: lagniappe, swaffice, comps, distros, sporange, etc. Although there are many words that intrigue me greatly, I want to focus one word in particular- floorcest. I was first introduced to the word in what I presumed to be a lighthearted conversation between a female friend and I. We were talking about homework, classes, whether or not we liked the food, and, of course, boys. She was describing her current love interest to me, and I decided I would throw it out there that I thought a boy on my floor was attractive.

“What!?” she asked in what sounded like utmost disgust. “You can’t like someone on your floor…”

I was puzzled. I had never thought twice about this being a bad thing. How could I contain my emotions for someone simply because they shared the same floor as me? And, moreover, why should I pretend not to be interested in someone that lived on my floor?

“Why not?” I asked, dumbfounded.

She responded with a dramatic eye roll. “Come on! Think about it! There are tons of reasons why you should stay away from people on your floor. Like, say you guys hook up and it’s bad, and then you have to see them the next day. AWKWARD…. Or even worse, if you guys start dating, and then things go bad, and you break up! God, it would be horrible. That’s why you avoid floorcest.”

“Floorcest!?” I couldn’t contain my laughter. What a great word!

“It’s really not funny. It seriously needs to be avoided…” Apparently I was taking this too lightly. What I found to be a hilarious word for a silly idea was taken quite seriously by many students.

During my time here at Carleton, I have come to learn that this idea of floorcest is truly quite looked down upon. It is apparently something to be avoided if possible, and those that partake in it are cautioned. Although I can see the downsides to putting yourself in such a situation, I had to wonder why no one seemed to look at the benefits of dating someone that lives on your floor…

First of all, you would basically know if your significant other was straying. It would be virtually impossible for them to sneak another lover onto the floor, nonetheless into their room (and if one is capable of successfully mastering such a maneuver they deserve props). So the whole floorcest thing automatically makes your boyfriend/girlfriend faithful, whether or not they want to be.

Next, and most obviously, there’s the convenience factor. Hanging out would be fairly simple. You would not have too terribly far to walk to get to their room (unless you live in Goodhue). If you were unable to take time out of your day to actually hang out alone, it wouldn’t matter because you could take solace in the fact that you would see them eventually that day walking to the bathroom or lounging. The annoying phone calls made simply in order to “check up” on one another would be much less necessary, thus decreasing the possibility of forgetting to make such a call and getting in trouble.

Another great perk to living on the same floor would be the deletion of “walks of shame.” Add bed hair and the smeared remnants of last night’s make-up and you’re not looking too hot. Now imagine running into that girl in your 2a that you never talk to. She knows what’s up. You feel like an idiot (or maybe you don’t care which is sweet). But if you lived on your lover’s floor, no one (besides maybe the janitors) would catch you in this state! What a perfect world.

In conclusion, I have heard many terrible and awful things concerning the term “floorcest.” Although I can certainly see the downfalls, I urge everyone to keep an open mind about this situation since there do happen to be some benefits. What a shame it would be to let where you live halt your romantic pursuits. I ask you to ponder this.

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