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Carleton student has first kiss over Zoom

Should I tilt my head to “my right” or “your right?” The COVID pandemic affects our lives in so many ways, and our love lives are certainly not immune. Couples on campus who were practically married are now separated, living hundreds of miles away from their beau. Students with crushes…

Cultivating work spaces in childhood bedrooms

Nothing can be more infantilizing than requesting that your mother not offer you a glass of milk during a Zoom-class. Some may know the deep embarrassment of your cat displaying its buttocks to your webcam amid class discussions. This, unfortunately, is the situation many Carls face as they learn remotely.…

OHP uses fitness bracelets to track Carls: data is damning

In our modern age of technology, data is a hot commodity. Carleton College is particularly well known for its infatuation with hard numbers. Our bathrooms are adorned with SHAC (Shaky Hands and Coffee) posters boasting students’ ability to not poison themselves with alcohol. Statistics is a requirement for practically every…

Overheard at Carleton wins literary award

Carleton students are over-achievers and, apparently, can produce artistic masterpieces while procrastinating on social media. Last Thursday, all students and alums who had contributed to the Facebook page known as “Overheard at Carleton” received an email from the judging committee of the NPL (Navel Prize in Literature) notifying them of…

“Snow” solution to housing shortage: igloos

From the start of this academic year, administrators have been brainstorming solutions for the winter term housing shortage. The college, in an effort to find space for 40 beds out of thin-air, offered creative solutions. Popular proposals were moving SHAC out of Burton’s basement, converting study rooms into dorms and…

Shlept at Carleton Instagram mistakenly posts photo of dead student

As finals approach, Carleton students are working tirelessly to prepare for exams and finish their lengthy essays. Many on campus are running on little to no sleep, relying on obscene quantities of coffee to keep themselves awake. Despite what students think, however, they cannot burn the candle on both ends…

If Carleton College were a scented candle

Nothing sets the mood like a scented candle emitting its rich and sensual smell, casting everything in a soft light. While students are not allowed to have “open flames” in dorms, they can still lift a candle close to your nose and sniff really hard. It is scientifically proven that…

Anderson Light Fixture: Let There Be Light

Last year, the administration flooded student emails with queries about the Anderson Hall Light Fixture. The college higher ups, it seemed, were convinced that this light fixture was the most pressing issue on campus. Carls were begged to attend presentations by various sculpture artists or comment on design proposals. Obviously,…

Date Knight tradition experiences challenges after campus directory change

Carleton’s time-honored tradition of Date Knight (formerly called “Set Up Your Roommate”) has undergone significant changes this year as a result of changes to the campus directory. Students, who no longer have access to student residence information online, will correspond with friends, as opposed to roommates, of potential dates for…

Mom Jeans and where to buy them

Unless you’ve been living under a rock, you’ve probably noticed that mom jeans are the current fashion craze. They are baggy and comfortable, and they frame your butt oh just right. A perfect pair of mom jeans can be chic and childlike at the exact same time. In other words,…