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Our newest editor

I’m Ben More, class of twenty-four. I came all the way from the Chicago suburbs to study humanities without all the humans.  I couldn’t be more excited to be serving as a new editor of the Bald Spot! I’m really not sure why they had me write about it in…

Mainstream media: the unsung MAGA crusaders

In March 2016, a media executive put in a phone call to Michael Cohen, attorney to then-Republican primary candidate Donald Trump. The media executive remarks that he is “fond” of Trump, whom he calls “the boss.”  “I want to do a weekly show with him and all that stuff,” the…

Here’s why Trump is good now and you should like him

We will begin this week’s article with a recap of last week’s events, when the Bald Spot uncovered what may be one of the greatest political developments since a few days ago.   Former President Donald J. Trump recently observed social distancing regulations by staying away from Joe Biden’s inauguration.…

Why did Trump skip Biden’s inauguration? Social distancing.

Last Wednesday, millions of Americans watched as Former Vice President Joseph R. Biden Jr. defied the prophecies of QAnon himself on the national stage and became Current President Joseph R. Biden Jr. The last president was noticeably absent from the crowd, however, as Donald Trump followed the lead of Andrew…

Stimulus searchlight: what’s in our COVID-19 stimulus bill?

Hey there! How well do YOU know your COVID-19 stimulus bill? Let’s test your knowledge with a game of  Stimulus Searchlight! Below are ten provisions of H.R. 133, the Consolidated Appropriations Act of 2021. Some really are in the bill; some are not. Compare your answers with the key and…

Carleton nationally recognized for commitment to first-generation students

Last December, the Center for First-Generation Student Success named Carleton a First-Gen Forward institution, a distinction it now shares with 156 other colleges and universities in the nation.  The Center, a non-profit organization dedicated to “driving higher education innovation and advocacy for first-generation student success,” awards the title annually to…

US Government falls after nobody votes in presidential election

FiveThirtyEight forecasted that Joe Biden would win the presidency. Several mysterious pundits heralded a surprise Trump victory. Alas, no outlet, pundit, or model could have foretold the 2020 presidential election’s outcome.  At approximately 7:01 PM, every single state went gray after certifying their unanimous winner—no one. For the first time…

Amy Coney Barrett refuses to say whether she wants soup or salad

“You’re asking me to comment on a hypothetical, and I cannot characterize the facts in a hypothetical situation,” newly-confirmed Justice Amy Coney Barrett reportedly said to a waiter at a Washington, D.C. restaurant.  “Ma’am,” the waiter responded, “if you would like more information, our soup du jour is minestrone. You…

Breaking: Feds seize Hunter Biden’s DS

Mere days before millions of Americans go to cast their ballots in the 2020 presidential election, a new development threatens to shake up the race, as developments often do. FBI authorities recently seized an orange Nintendo DS thought to belong to longtime infant-consumer with satanic characteristics Hunter Biden. The device…

Life hack: five ways to use glue besides sticking things together

Everybody knows that glue can be used as an adhesive or to increase the altogether stickiness of any object or surface, excluding glue itself. In fact, attentive readers will note that in the word “glue,” the letters G, L, U, and E are particularly close together, almost as if they…