*This piece was published in The Bald Spot, which is the paper’s satirical/humor section.* Let’s talk about Mental Health. I had to break through thousands of layers of Stigma just to say those five daring words. That’s right: There is a lot of Stigma surrounding Mental Health. Nobody…
Ben More
Bald Spot Editor.
For most Carls, Family Weekend was a time of reconnection. The campus was alive with the bustle of students frantically concealing their new lives amidst the lukewarmth of familial love. But, thanks to the temporary mask mandate imposed from Friday to Sunday, the Northfield area’s small yet existent superhero community—whose…
Researchers had been operating under the assumption that sleep deprivation, stress, and Bon Appetit eggs posed the most significant threat to the Carleton community’s health. Recently, however, a young hotshot virus hit the scene: The Porch House Viral Disease, or POVID-21. The prevailing consensus among the scientific community is that…
What’s up, pal-a-normals? It’s your “boo,” Paranormal Investigator in-Residence Sue Dounim. I’m your one-stop shop for what makes all the others drop: The spooky specters squirming around this haunted-as-hell heckhole. OG Cryptophiles, you probably noticed I changed up my writing style a little since last year. Short story shorter, I…
It was fourth week, and we at the Bald Spot paid our respects by publishing a “Fourth Week Bracket.” The ostensibly fun-loving folks over at The Carl magazine, however, did not get the joke. As it is (coincidentally) their custom to publish a weekly bracket, they issued a notice of…
Nothing is sacred anymore. On Thursday, Zoom Video Communications, Inc. CEO Eric Yuan addressed a group of shareholders at what was ironically an in-person meeting. The Bald Spot has not been informed as to what actually goes on at a shareholders’ meeting, but, as journalists, we are obligated to publish…
We may divide numbers, but they unite us all. While some of us may occasionally find it difficult to appreciate those delectable digits, there’s not much point in resisting: They outnumber us at roughly infinity to one. But have you ever wondered which is the most illustrious integer? Rev up…
I’m Ben More, class of twenty-four. I came all the way from the Chicago suburbs to study humanities without all the humans. I couldn’t be more excited to be serving as a new editor of the Bald Spot! I’m really not sure why they had me write about it in…
In March 2016, a media executive put in a phone call to Michael Cohen, attorney to then-Republican primary candidate Donald Trump. The media executive remarks that he is “fond” of Trump, whom he calls “the boss.” “I want to do a weekly show with him and all that stuff,” the…
We will begin this week’s article with a recap of last week’s events, when the Bald Spot uncovered what may be one of the greatest political developments since a few days ago. Former President Donald J. Trump recently observed social distancing regulations by staying away from Joe Biden’s inauguration.…