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Hello Lovers and Dreamers! I received an influx of questions with Midwinter Ball approaching, so I decided to answer a few! Enjoy.
Hey Aphro,
I got asked to the dance and I’m really excited to go with my date but I also really want to be with my friends. I only get one fancy ball a year with my friends and I don’t want to miss out. How should I balance?
~Excited Emmy
Hey Emmy,
You said the magic word. Balance. Of course you can spend time with your friends at the dance! That’s part of what it’s all about. Just make sure your date gets what’s going on and doesn’t feel ditched by you; you can express ahead of time that you promised to spend at least a few dances with your clique. And hey, maybe your date will want to join in and you can all have a great time together. As long as you’re reassuring your date that you like being with them, too, they won’t be offended if you do your own thing for a while.
Dear Aphro,
My friend and I agreed as a joke to go to the dance together, like a couple. We were just kidding around and decided to match outfits and stuff. The problem is I kind of actually like him. I don’t want to him to think I’m acting different and be totally creeped out, but I kind of want something to happen.
~Unrequited Ursula.
Good question, Ursula. You speak for millions. You’re friends with this guy, right? So don’t forget the amazing things you can do as friends. You can joke together, dance together, eat pizza together, hang out on couches and chill together. You should have a good time no matter what happens later. In terms of advancing the relationship, these same activities apply! When you’re having fun and learning about each other, you’re building the relationship, even when it’s staying platonic. So first of all just try to have fun and show him you enjoy his company. And don’t feel creepy.
At some point, you’re probably going to actually want to express your feelings of interest, but I get the sense that this part terrifies you. If so, try the old I’m joking if you want me to be strategy. Try, “This was so fun; we should go on more dates!” or, “Wanna walk me to my door and make out?” If he sees you as purely a friend, you can both laugh at your hilarity. If he sees you as more than a friend, he will probably respond a little more seriously. Either way, try to create expectations for the night that you can meet regardless of his feelings. This way, you’re the one in charge of your happiness at the end of the night.
Hi Aphrodite,
I’ve been hooking up with this person and we kind of decided we wanted to spend the night together after the dance. I want it to be magical but I have a roommate and so do they, and neither of us has asked to have the room to ourselves for a night before. I said I could be the one to ask, but I’m pretty nervous. How should I ask? Do you think my roommate will be mad or judge me?
~Polite Pat
Well hello, Polite Pat. Let me just say your roommate is lucky to have someone as thoughtful as you. What do you say to them in this situation? “Hey [insert roommate’s name,] I’m wondering if I might be able to have the room to myself after Midwinter Ball. I was hoping to have someone stay over. I completely understand if that’s too inconvenient for you, and if so I am fine making other plans.”
Your roommate isn’t going to be mad if you frame it politely and give them the option of saying no. And if they judge you, that’s whack. Plenty of people have someone stay the night. The worst that happens is it is too inconvenient for them to find another place to stay, and they say they’d rather not.
In that case, academic buildings are open until 12, I believe. Just bring plenty of blankets. (I’m joking if you want me to be. (See what I did there, Ursula?))
Hearts and Hugs to all And a Magnificent Midwinter
Ball, Aphro <3
