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The Carletonian

The Carletonian

The Carletonian

Leaked survey responses evaluating Carleton

<.m. on Monday, February 4, Bill Altermatt, the Associate Director of Institutional Research & Development at Carleton, sent out an email stating that the Higher Learning Commission, the association that evaluates the College, is currently in its evaluation process for this year. Altermatt invited students to fill out an anonymous survey, the results of which will apparently be presented to representatives from the Higher Learning Commission.

Below are real, leaked statements from students responding to the survey.

Rick Clock* ’20: I couldn’t speak more highly of Carleton College, especially its timely, efficient and equitable Title IX proceedings. I am proud to say that, over the past several years, Carleton has quickly and thoughtfully dismissed any professors or students accused of unprofessional conduct. I am glad that my school continuously upholds its standards of “developing [the] qualities of mind and character,” as the College asserts in its official mission statement.

Brent Mahoney ’19: While it is an issue at other institutions, I sleep well at night knowing that Carleton College has impeccable and enviable racial and ethnic representation. The school pulls from all over the globe and every skin color, culture and ethnicity are respected, embraced and — most importantly — represented at the school. And the administration knows and respects it, especially by giving us important holidays off, such as Rosh Hashanah and Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Day.

John Coffee ’21: At first, I had a real issue with the lack of gender neutral bathrooms on campus—“Sure,” I thought, “there are more or less one per building, but that is nowhere near enough to support an entire school with a significant transgender and gender nonconforming community.” But then, the administration told me that they’re trying, which made me feel much better.


Sure, they haven’t really made any advancements in a while and many students have to take extra time during class to find their bathroom—but if the administration is trying, that’s the best they can do, and I know the College works very hard to accommodate and support students as much as possible.

Mark Wukas ’22: Stevie P is sick as hell. It’s really cool that he was able to accumulate the funds to buy his own Tesla. Step aside, College of DuPage! Sure, they spent over $200,000 on liquor for “educational purposes,” but our president has an expensive, sporty car. I don’t know what could be cooler than a president with style.

Marc Brown ’21: The College cares about its students. And, in a state and region within that state where temperatures frequently delve into dangerous territory, the college keeps foresight 20/20 and gives students days off when needed.


*Names have been changed

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