<itors of a college publication, we have the privilege to certain information before the general public. Rob Oden’s retirement was known by our predecessors before any other student on campus (except probably McKay Duer, but she knew everything before everyone). This year, we haven’t had anything quite so monumental yet. Still, we’ve discovered one of the many true joys of working on this publication. We receive an insurmountable number of emails from places we’ve never heard of who want to get the word out about whatever. We don’t entirely understand why they send these press releases to us, but we enjoy many of them immensely. And, while we don’t read most of them, we’ve decided to share a few gems and dish the dirt on the Next Big Things according to the Carletonian inbox.
subject: RISING RAPPER WAKA FLOCKA FLAME TO RELEASE DEBUT ALBUM “FLOCKAVELLI” OCTOBER 5TH
Mark your calendars. Waka Flocka Flame is going huge. Trust us.
subject: Wolfman Pizza First in the Carolinas to Use Eco-Friendly “Pizza Box of the 21st Century”
This was a blank email, however, pictures were attached. We downloaded and examined them, but from what we can tell, the Pizza Box of the 21st Century is pretty similar to the boxes delivered to our office by Domino’s every Thursday evening.
subject: Fat Cats and their Claws, A Novel
from: the Columbia Journalism Review
Look for this on the NYT bestseller list in the Romance section. We read the book synopsis and this is going to be Julia Robert’s next blockbuster.
subject: iArm, the Ultimate Technology Prank Gift Box. Another Dimly Bright Creation, from 30 Watt.
We’re going to order one of these stat. We don’t know what it is, but we like the originality of using a lower case “i” in front of a capitalized word. So avant garde.
subject: For Immediate Release
First paragraph: Apparently they couldn’t get enough of the “bromance” that began last year on their first annual “Totally F*ckin’ Doin’ It” Tour, because Tony Lucca, Jay Nash and Matt Duke are doing it all over again – one year later. To celebrate that anniversary, this year’s 2.0 outing kicks off on November 11th at SPACE in Evanston, IL, and the three music compadres plan to criss-cross the Northeast, the Mid-Atlantic, the South and the Midwest.
So just be happy we don’t publish everything that gets sent our way.