<r Underclasspeople,
It is I, here again, to share more bad advice about another aspect of life at Carleton that I like to pretend doesn’t cause me terrible anxiety. After my many terms at Carleton, here are a few go-to techniques about registering for classes:
1. In order to get out of that boring prerequisite, email your professor and tell them that if you have to take the class, you will be forced to take your emotional support zebra named Pierre to every class. Your professor will let you skip taking the class because it is a common rule that zebras aren’t allowed in prereqs.
2. Can’t decide what classes to take? Buy 100 balloons and write the class name of different options on each one and then release them into the chapel. The balloons that reach the ceiling first are the ones you should take. Ladder necessary.
3. Pick a department you absolutely know you won’t like and take all 300 level classes in that department. Liberal arts colleges are supposed to expand your mind, right?
4. Create a special major that only requires you to take UND202 (Underwater Basket Weaving Intermediate) with the Scuba instructors.
5. Tell your advisor that you can’t register for classes because the moon is not aligned with Jupiter. This may buy you a few extra days of pretending to figure out what classes to take while you are actually becoming reacquainted with the Neopets account you made when you were seven.
6. Drop out of Carleton and resubmit your Common App to Hogwarts. You don’t need to pick what classes you take there because you’ll be too busy fighting Voldemort.
7. Register for every single one of the PE classes and see what happens. (Let me know, too. I am curious.)
8. Barter off your registration number to an unlucky first-year for thousands of dollars and then buy yourself a one-way ticket to Aruba for the term. #treatyoself
A small piece of good advice: Think that you will be waitlisted for a class you really want to take? Professors love students who have a passion for the topic so send an email to the professor EARLY saying how important the course is to you. It is very likely that they will give you a spot!