<oking for love beyond a SAO-sanctioned first date among hundreds of your other peers who are also set up on dates? Look no further than the Carletonian’s personals section. Below are blurbs submitted by people looking for love/companionship/friendship, etc., or by people that are looking for those things for their friends. Slide into our DMs digginsb@ or maticanr@ via the true social media, Gmail, and we will get you two connected.
– hot jewish capricorn sk8r boy horrified by (hyper)masculinity looking for non-cowards who also regret that the enlightenment ever happened to bike around n eat taki’s w … they/she/yours (?)
– My name is Sophia Jenkins, and I am a senior psychology major. I’m not very picky, quite easy to please actually, there are just a few teeny tiny preferences you should know about:
Hot:
-Having an older sister
-Drinking tea
-Being misunderstood
-Willing to watch Gilmore Girls with me
Not:
– Long socks with sandals
-Disrespecting Harry Potter
-Finding my pig posters creepy
-Manspreading
If you fit at least two of the positive characteristics and none of the negative ones, please send me your own list at jenkinss2@.
– Senior English major seeks pen pal for winter break. Must appreciate good writing, caffeinated beverages, and trees. Cello playing, above-average cooking ability, and extensive vocabulary a plus. Also, prominent cheekbones. Orange tans, big egos and fans of “Bartleby the Scrivener” need not apply. Email Annmarie Delfino (delfinoa) if interested.
– Looking for a man with many admirable traits, among them the ability to rock eye makeup exclusively on weekends? Look no further than this newspaper enthusiast. Men with knowledge of New Yorker cartoons, how to use eyeliner, and Mitski’s canon will be awarded extra points.
– Deeply committed couple seeking third for fun. Fans of artisan tea, Franzia, and cracking open a cold one with the boyz get priority in line.
– Seeking someone who is in Boliou all the time, 24/7, never not there. Interest in poppy yet moody music and ceramics are pluses.
– Seeking KRLX boi for steady dates and clear communication.
– Into GOT fans who are fluent in Java and Middle English. Quirky applicants only.
– Searching for woman, 18-22, who enjoys cuddling and finds this face (pictured below) pleasant to look at. No other requirements. Contact kumarp@ with comments, questions and/or concerns.