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The Carletonian

The Carletonian

The Carletonian


<y fall, hundreds of freshmen bound for Carleton strap on their backpacks and pry themselves away from their anxious parents. Soon after, many of us Carls are hurled into the deep-end and expected to have made a group of friends by the time we come up for air. Thankfully, Carleton thinks ahead for those of us who tend to sink like rocks and gives us the tools to make friends— lest we sit ALONE in the dining hall during our first week. If you’re like me, you’d rather starve.

Affectionately called “icebreakers,” these tools are supposed to help us get comfortable with our peers. Unfortunately, despite the A+ efforts of the peer leaders, New Student Week had its fair share of “iceformers”. Unfortunately, these are not the solution to global warming. Iceformers, as their name implies, do the exact opposite of icebreakers— they make you feel awkward around or just downright hate your fellow Carls.

IceFORMER Greatest Hits:

  • Your screwdate saying that you remind them of their mom.
  • Someone on your floor abducting your mattress.
  • The Orientation Plague. Anyone who got sick during orientation week can sympathize with walking around campus glaring (between sneezes) at other students who could have been the patient zero who unleashed the incubus on the innocent population.
  • Lost frisbees. RIP the name-frisbees that are forever gone in the void. RIP that new friend you’ll never be able to meet.
  • Vomit in the communal recycling can.
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