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The Carletonian

The Carletonian

The Carletonian

You’re doing Sayles wrong.

<ir="ltr">Sayles: the oasis for the famished students who stayed up writing that paper that’s due in two hours or who stayed out late “socializing” on weekends (or Wednesday’s) and are in desperate need of something fried and greasy. During my two and a half terms working at Sayles, I’ve accumulated ample knowledge from the wonderful staff and have made a number of observations regarding customer behavior. Here’s some advice you can use to help make everyone’s Sayles experience smoother and even more deliciously enjoyable for both customers and employees.

1. Ticket number travesty –You know that little black screen onto which your ticket number magically materializes when your order is ready? I know you do; you stare at it the entire time you’re waiting for your food. The staff at Sayles typically make over one thousand orders every day, and each ticket number has to be manually entered onto a crappy little machine that’s extremely touchy. Each number must be individually cleared from the machine when its corresponding order is picked up. When the machine gets too full of orders, it crashes, so the numbers must be cleared frequently. This is why we ask you your ticket number when you pick up your food. I often inquire about ticket numbers, only to receive some derivative of “Oh, I’ve already found my order, thanks,” as a reply. I’m not asking for you, honey. I have numbers to clear.

2. Lunch line loophole – As much as we all love waiting in line, when you’re trying to grab a quick lunch between 4a and 5a, you need to get in and out of Sayles quickly. I have some good news for you: every day during lunch hours, not one, but three whole cash registers are open, from which you can order and pay for absolutely anything your little heart desires. The staff do their best to corral hangry Sayles-goers inside the café to the two additional registers, but most customers opt to wait in the ultra-long line at the main register. Also, to make the lines move faster, please have your onecard out and know what you’re ordering by the time you get to the register. It really sucks to be right behind someone who decides to peruse the scones for two decades when they finally get to the register.

3. Secret menu item – Chocolate banana smoothie. It’s delicious.

4. Composting Craze. All of our disposable silverware, plates, to-go boxes, sandwich bags, containers for condiments, parfaits, salads, etc. are compostable. The only vessels we provide that aren’t compostable are the little water cups, which can be recycled. I change the compost approximately 87 times per shift as it is, but I won’t mind changing it more frequently if it means students are being a little nicer to the planet.

5. The beautiful chronology of Sayles – I’ve heard many customers lament about Sayles’s alleged lack of fairness, citing that orders taken after theirs are finished sooner. Yes, this does happen. Yes, it is fair. Say that you order a turkey burger, and your order is number 84. You wait, and wait, and wait for what seems to be an eternity for your sacred slab of ground poultry. Suddenly, you see numbers 85, 86, 87, and 88 flash upon the screen, but your order is still not ready. You scream in outrage. You shed a tear or two. Maybe you beat your fists on the ground, punch a hole in the wall. “This is an abomination!” you cry. Calm down! The grill cooks got your ticket, and they put your turkey burger on the grill before they started making subsequent orders. The orders after yours were probably items that take less time to prepare, like chicken tenders, which, if there are some already cooked, just need to be thrown on a plate. The chefs work on multiple orders concurrently- if they didn’t do so, it would take even longer to make your food. The grill cook doesn’t put your turkey burger on the grill and watch it exclusively until it’s done. You’re not a special snowflake.

6. Gluten-Free Options Galore! If you’re allergic to gluten or are one of those weird people who believe that a gluten-free lifestyle is inherently healthier than the alternative, this item will be of particular interest to you. You can order any burger or sandwich on gluten-free bread. Sayles also has gluten-free corn tortillas that you can order quesadillas or anything at the taqueria on.

7. Ice, ice, baby! Need ice? Don’t try to collect some yourself from the pop (yes, this is how we say it in Minnesota, please get over it) machine; ask us for ice, and we’ll fill you a bag (short “a” sound) from our tub of ice in the kitchen.

8. To-go box tragedy. I can’t tell you how many times each night students ask the grill cooks to move their orders from plates to to-go boxes. If you are in dire need of a to-go box, try mentioning that you want your food to-go when you order at the register. It’ll work, I promise. That said, don’t use to-go boxes unless you absolutely need to take your food elsewhere. To-go boxes are more costly than plates and use significantly more material. If you really want to be environmentally conscious, bring your own washable plate. Also, you get a drink discount if you bring your own mug or cup!

Lastly, be respectful to the Sayles staff. When Sayles closes at 1am, they have to stay behind until 2:30 to clean up before they drive or even walk home. A number of them work other jobs in the morning, too. So please be courteous and be liberal with your Ps and Qs!

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