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The Carletonian

The Carletonian

Students react to Midwinter Ball

Last weekend, Carls from all corners of campus flocked to Sayles to participate in the 44th annual Midwinter Ball. Guests were admitted from 41 out of 50 states and 11 countries, with international guests comprising 10% of the non-Carleton guests present. In the interest of improving the experience of Midwinter Ball for future students, the Bald Spot conducted interviews on student experience throughout the event.

A common thread among all interviewees was that all three rooms, featuring student DJs, the Roseville Big Band and Salsa del Soul, were much too cold. Student Stu Dent ’25 said, “I was in the Sayles Great Space the whole time, and everyone around me was freezing cold. I wish I had had more layers on — luckily, the crowd acted like a big, smelly blanket, and I could avoid hypothermia.”

Students from the Severance Tea Room reported that “we weren’t salsa-ing because of the fire beats and epic vibes. We were salsa-ing out of need. That was all we had to stave off the cold.”

In the Great Hall, however, attendees were able to keep warm, albeit in an unconventional fashion. “We all congregated around Ben Ellis,” Rahim Hamid ’26 explained, “you could feel him from any corner of the room — so hot. Once you glanced over and saw him bust a move, you were hooked. It was unlike anything I’d experienced before.”

Students had more positive things to say about the music in each room. Mike Wazowski, an international guest, said, “I loved the selections in the Great Space. The blending and mixing were incredible — I still can’t stand up straight, and my ears haven’t stopped ringing for days.”

Meanwhile, Salsa del Soul was “a revelation in the Twin Cities Latin sound,” as described by Mayonnaise Friedman ’24.

Students had a less strong reaction to the Roseville Big Band’s sound, all of the attendees in the Great Hall being distracted. “I couldn’t pay attention to the music,” said Isaac Kofsky ’27, “I was transfixed by the sight of Ben Ellis out of the corner of my eye. There was one point when he absolutely nailed a Shopping Cart move, and I honestly thought I was going to faint.”

Students had a wide range of reactions to the food and drink offered at Midwinter Ball. While some, including Pork Chop ’25, lamented the “dusty-ass pizza” and wished the students distributing marijuana “would pay a little bit more attention to customer service,” others, such as Dean Carolyn Livingston, were deeply satisfied by all food offerings, especially the marijuana, and “would like to invite all students involved in the top-notch distribution of high-quality marijuana to my home in the security office for a dinner celebrating your accomplishments and contributions to the college.” Still more would have liked to sample the pizza and water offered, but were thwarted by the well-known inability of Carleton students to navigate.

According to one Carl who wished to remain anonymous, “my friends kept telling me, ‘Hey Baxter, just go to the post office and they’ll give you some pizza,’ but I kept getting lost and ending up in this mysterious closet where your deepest fears slowly materialize before your eyes. By the time I got out, I had always completely lost my appetite, so I headed back to the dance.”

Another student said, “I knew the pizza was at the post office, but I think it’s unfair to expect Carleton students to know where that is. After all, most of us don’t get mail.” In the Great Hall, though, the crowd was less focused on pizza. “The only snack I need is that Ben Ellis,” said Shmalison Shmyerly, a student who claimed not to be Carleton President Alison Byerly in disguise. “He was something else. What’s the phrase? Sexy to the max.” 

Note from the editors: it has come to our attention that some of the quotes given to the author of this article were obtained through coercion and bribery. These quotes, portraying the temperature as excessively cold during the dance, were made to glorify Carleton’s air conditioning contractor but were, ultimately, false. However, we have agreed to publish the article as it is because Ben Ellis is just so sexy and good at dancing that we simply can’t resist. We hope to continue bringing reliable journalism to the Carleton community in the future.

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About the Contributor
Ben Ellis, Bald Spot Editor
There are two things I like: eating grapes and lying in the newspaper. Also, general happiness and joy. Plus, I've been known to enjoy a good LDC Reuben. Ben (he/him) is a sophomore and started as a Bald Spot editor last year.

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