Two years ago, when I first committed to a liberal arts college in Northfield, MN, those around me were not just bewildered but genuinely concerned. Didn’t I know it was cold there? Really cold? So so cold? And also windy? Shocking my family and friends, I revealed that, yes, I had considered the first, most basic, obvious fact about my new home. And yes, it was daunting. But with it came a unique opportunity: as an enthusiastic would-be connoisseur of hot cocoa, I knew that Northfield would have two very important things: an incredibly long hot chocolate season and a wide variety of options evolved over the decades of enduring the cold. So, having now spent some of a 2nd — and admittedly more real — winter in this town, I set out on a journey to test, rank and collect the pros and cons of many of the most noteworthy hot cocoa beverages locally available to Carleton students. 

1. Goodbye, Blue Monday’s Mexican Cocoa is unsurprisingly my favorite hot cocoa of Minnesota (and maybe the USA. and maybe Earth?), and their traditional Hot Cocoa is also brilliant. This is a drink definitely best enjoyed “to stay,” where the whipped cream can be a legitimate part of every sip rather than something you paid $0.80 for and subsequently have to either abandon or lick off of the cup’s lid, depending on your commitment to the bit and the politeness of your company. When ordered “to stay,” this drink is almost the perfect accompaniment to that history reading you have, except it’ll be gone far too soon. If this drink was served just a tiny bit hotter, I do think people from all over America would be making a pilgrimage to it. It’s very close to achieving perfection.
2. Raven’s Nest offers a fairly inexpensive hot chocolate that is surprisingly hot when you get past the very pleasant and generous quantity of foam on the top. It’s not quite as chocolatey as one might hope, but it’s a solid no-nonsense option. It’s also less sweet than Blue Monday’s, if that’s your thing. And there’s a dog. 
3. Security hot chocolate in Anderson. This is more of a pop-up, but it’s thrilling. One of the few marshmallow opportunities on this list. It’s delicious, it’s actually hot and you get to do the toppings. And just when you thought it couldn’t get better: it’s free. When you get that campus announcement from security, move. Be ready to drop everything. It’s only this far down because of the availability constraints.
4. Unfortunately, the next best option after these seems to be to make it yourself. When it comes to this, there are a number of appropriate options at Family Fare. While it may seem like the $1.19 price tag attached to each individual Cocoa Classics — formerly a Land O’Lakes product — sachet is a lot, it is one of the few options that is legitimately good in water. And if you live in a dorm, you may actually save money by not also having to buy milk, which you never use as quickly as you think you will. Although, if you want to stick with Swiss Miss and take a cup of milk from the two gourmet grocery stores on campus you probably pay thousands of dollars to access, I’m not looking. If you are going the multi-pack Swiss Miss route, you’ve already made the right choice by not bothering with Nestle, and the only step left is to make sure you keep it classic with the flavor. The marshmallows are gone too soon, leave little impression or foam on the drink and are simply not worth it. 
5. Little Joy is once again not offering a hot chocolate on their winter drinks menu, and in fact, don’t list it on their normal menu, though they do have it. For a cafe so interested in making strange drinks that you kind of like but are kind of weird, you would think they could create some kind of bitter, quirky lavender hot chocolate, but disappointingly, they will essentially serve you steamed milk with chocolate sauce. Little Joy’s creative vision with their drinks is very distinctive, and their hot chocolate is made all the worse by my high expectations. Little Joy, if you are reading this, I would love to see you guys cook up an orange hot chocolate. I know you could absolutely kill it. I still have hope. Don’t let me down.
6. Sayles-Hill Campus Center. I wish I could say the chocolate sauce on the top is unnecessary because it really is bad and unpleasant. But it, unfortunately, accounts for a majority of the beverage’s chocolate flavor. Combined with the lack of warmth in the drink itself, this one is a real flop and never worth it. You’re much better off getting a coffee or even their chai latte to actually provide energy and some flavor for your (dining) dollar. Just don’t pay for this. You could have better for free in Burton from that weird machine. You deserve better. Dream bigger.