Earlier this morning, the FCC issued an official statement in regards to the recent outbreak: “I don’t think satire is the way to go rn.” Many experts have criticized this decision as far too late...

I feel obligated to tell all of the readers that the bald spot sucks. Now I realized this when I realized that everything is relative. Relative to SNL, we’re pretty funny. Relative to Jeff Dunham, we’re...

Carleton has recently announced Carleton premiumTM, a new kind of College experience. Here are some of the elements of Carleton Premium: ◉ Edible Dining hall food ◉ Access to SHAC counselors more...

I feel morally obligated to tell you at the very start of this article that this is not for people who want a relationship and are not in one. If you are in that situation, I have a one word guide for...

Realize how unhappy you are: Let’s face it, Carleton sucks. If you’re dumb enough to stay here all four years, you end up working your ass off for a degree from a school no one has heard of. You also...

The Bay Area is unlike any other place in America (thank you, God). Because of this, the people it spits out are a little different. Because it is such a unique part of the country, Bay Area dwellers...

There’s so much to say about the media and politics and all that, so I’ll be vague. The role of the media in today’s civil society is to give people information. People then use that information...

Carleton College has just announced that it is starting an experimental ROTC program in partnership with the Department of Defense. This was surprising to many, considering Carleton’s lack of focus...

Watch out: Jay/Jerome Levi is set to return to campus next term. What most people don’t know, however, is that he returned to campus long ago as a squirrel. He has been back on campus for weeks now,...

Upon further review of the Panama Papers, it was revealed that the Carleton Geology department had contracted a hit on various members of DIVEST Carleton. The papers revealed that a few years ago, when...

On Friday, October 18, Carleton’s Office of Health Promotion (OHP) received 2,000 free condoms from an Advocates for Youth program called the Condom Collective. Four Student Wellness Advocates (SWAs)...

Trends come and go with the wind, but there is one fashion staple that will always fit well and make you look put-together: Sweats. While they obviously make your muscles look bigger and your secondary/primary...