Carleton has recently announced Carleton premiumTM, a new kind of College experience. Here are some of the elements of Carleton Premium:
◉ Edible Dining hall food ◉ Access to SHAC counselors more than once a term ◉ Sex ◉ The permission to swear on KRLX ◉ SWA dogs ◉ No Jay Levi ◉ Self-confidence ◉ Non-repetitive Bald Spot content ◉ Access to 1st Libe ◉ Premium member exclusive courses ◉ Earlier registration ◉ Intelligence ◉ Premium room draw numbers ◉ The Northfield option ◉ Prudence ◉ Gender neutral bathroom access ◉ Free Public Policy Minor ◉ People do your laundry for you ◉ Tenacity ◉ You’re allowed to talk about politics ◉ Fleet vehicles that can handle the snow ◉ Adaptability ◉ Bearable KRLX content ◉ Recreational Adderall ◉ The ability to unsubscribe from all email lists ◉ Athlete-free classes and dorms ◉ Diversity ◉ Easier comps ◉ Non-repetitive Bald Spot content ◉ Not be in Northfield ◉ Placeholder for Frisbee ◉ Compassion ◉ Old Stalkernet ◉ Access to the Tunnels ◉ You get to go in the Arb at Night ◉ Permission to do Mescaline, Marijuanna, Methadone, Modafinol, Methamphetamine, methanol, Marlboros, Menopause, Mickey Mouse, Ketamine, etc. ◉ Exemption from oxford commas ◉ Serendipity ◉ 3-hour labs ◉ Moodle plus (Doesn’t crash during finals) ◉ Warmer weather ◉ De-iced walkways and sidewalks ◉ Sproncert backstage passes