Sick and tired of marching your way from Goodhue to SHAC? Upset that SHAC is so small? Frustrated that they’ve been shoved in the basement of Davis for decades? Well, we’re here to tell you that your worries are no more! Admin has recently announced that SHAC is moving! But you may be wondering, where are they gonna put it? Somewhere accessible and helpful for students? Well that hasn’t been decided yet and remains vague, but we can give you a glimpse of the shortlist for the new shac office locations!
A literal wooden SHAC somewhere deep in the arb that relocates every nightOn top of the chapel bell towerWatson bike storageFourth DavisThe closet of the Math Skills CenterMyers 341Shreveport, LouisianaAn old microwave box from 1994 left in someone’s garageThe Applebees by TargetNutting HouseThe machinations of your infinite imaginationA new building dedicated to student wellness (haha wait no)Third DavisFourth Musser showersWhere the tavern used to be (RIP)PurgatoryThe set of Tom Hooper’s CATS (2019)One randomly selected student’s mailboxMysteriously floating above Bell fieldWherever the compost goes
We hope you’re getting excited about these fantastic options! Change will be difficult, however, and it’s important to note that moving all of SHAC will be costly. In order to pay for the new facilities while keeping treatment free for students, SHAC will now be barred from offering the following services: blood pressure checks, strep tests, std screenings, or anything else related to anything medical at all.